“When you decide you want happiness look me up” – Craig
That is a snippet of a very short email from a man I have never met. I will get back to that momentarily.
Several days ago I tweeted that this online dating thing was no better than “offline“. That email offers some proof of that.
Upon embarking on this new adventure, I thought it would be fun. Since I am not looking for a husband to get married, I thought I would, at the very least, meet a couple of interesting people, go on a few dates and it would be all good. The idea was to diversify my dating pool, as it were, because I don’t do the club scene.
I even entertained the idea of blogging about my experience because many of the profiles and pictures made me giggle and guffaw a few times. Truth is, I howled with laughter at some of them. However, I decided against it.
There would be nothing to gain from poking fun at another’s quest to find love and happiness. There are a multitude of lonely people out there looking for their “soul mates”. To them I bid a sincere, heartfelt God speed.
However….the misguided, arrogant douchebag that sent that message made me say, “Awe, fuck it!”
Let me give you a little background so you can put it in its proper context.
This particular online dating site offers a couple of options to communicate your interest in, and to, prospective dates. You can “wink“, email, instant message, or ask for a phone number. Also, there is a wonderful feature that allows you to see who has viewed your public profile. I like this feature and I use it often and I am certain I am not alone in my sentiment. After trolling a couple of profiles, which included his, I get this message from “Craig” on April 22nd. (click the image for a larger view)
I didn’t respond. Why not? I wasn’t interested. Nothing about him stood out for me.
Then I get the following message this morning.
Seriously? Are you that arrogant and delusional that you think any “happiness” for me will begin with YOU?
Craig, I seriously doubt any woman would find happiness with you.
Why not?
Because Craig, YOU are not happy with YOU. If you were, you would not have been so compelled to send that second message.
I have exchanged “winks” and sent an email only for the guy(s) not to respond further. Did I react out of feelings of rejection, unworthiness, low self-esteem, and no self-confidence to email him again to say, in essence, “Holla back when you’re ready to get with the best cause obviously you are too blind to see what I have to offer you“?
No. I did not. I let it roll and chalked it up to the game – just as you should have done. Just as any normal well-adjusted ADULT would have done.
I know this dating thing is not easy and the issue with doing it online is that finding chemistry with a person can be hit or miss. The key, though, is not to internalize any perceived rejection, take it personally and behave like a jerk.
The dating scene is not for the faint of heart or fragile of egos. Nor does it seem that it is for YOU Craig…and neither am I.
Soooo, with that, I offer you a sincere and heartfelt…FUCK OFF!!
I Am Chocl8t 
When he writes, “When you want happiness look me up”, he actually meant “If you fancy having a laugh at my expense, drop by anytime.”
He appears to be a bag entirely full to the brim of douche.
Now that was uncalled for.
I joined a few online dating sites but found that the women were off the chain with their ramblings about what they want, what they will stand for and what they will not tolerate. Having very little to offer themselves, they expect waaaay too much from others (no, that does not include you)). So, I knew it was not for me. Looking at the message that Craig sent, it sounds like he’s just “playing the game”, little “clever” lines from the dating world. Personally, I don’t see that he said anything so terrible – unless I’m missing something. As I see it, “Craig” has his wares up for grabs, someone views them and has two options: accept or walk away. I really don’t see the problem here. I don’t see why he seems to be deserving of such criticism. It seems to me that he used the same feature that you used – saw who visited his page, like what he saw, and contacted you. I don’t get it. Perhaps I just don’t take things to heart as women do. I just don’t see where he was “behaving like a jerk”. Having tried online dating, I think that the old routine of dating is more satisfying and rewarding for me. Perhaps for others, online dating may offer more options. To them, I say best wishes . . . and be careful . . . it can be dangerous. Peace.
It was the second message that was the issue, specifically the last line and all that it implied and inferred. At best he comes across as egotistical, at worst a jerk. I opted for the latter. He was/is a jerk.
Why not just keep it moving? Why the need to reach out again to someone who didn’t bother responding to you in the first place? Why the assumption that I am not happy and will not be until I “look you up”?
And I didn’t “take it to heart” i.e., having my feelings hurt. My thought was “damn. this guy has got a set of balls”. To me it is the equivalent of having a man ask you to dance and when you refuse he retorts by calling you a bitch. Totally unnecessary. His ego was bruised because I didn’t respond in a way he “expected”. And thus…comes the criticism.
Keep it moving and chalk it up to the game. No need for further dialogue. Most mature adults can grasp this concept. In this case, Craig did not and unfortunately for him stumbled upon a woman with a voice and a blog. 😉
Again, it’s all par for the course.
That last line, to me, is just “online dating” talk for “If you decide to give me a try, I’ll be here.” Perhaps he WAS being arrogant and egotistical, don’t really know. But, I’ve gotten similar responses from women and just chalked it up to dating lingo. On the other hand, perhaps I got it all wrong. Was his 1st attempt a response to having known that you had stopped by his page, or had he contacted you prior to that and still tried to connect? I suppose that it’s neither here nor there, as you weren’t interested anyway. I hope that if you decide that online dating IS for you that you will continue with your usual open-mindedness that we have all come to know and love. Which ever path that you decide upon, one would be a fool not to recognize what a prize you really are. Peace.
Im gonna keep it short and sweet: Craig = douche nozzle. The problem with this brother is he’s smelling himself but seems to think the stench smells good. Sad part is: his foolishness has probably worked for him before. tsk tsk Craig.
Nothing good ever came from anyone named shaquita or Craig
he was laying some bait…wanted you to react this way but only in a response to him…that way he could “engage” you in some sort of convo…
in online dating you have to be creative…he fails at that…
tee hee hee, this is why Jaila can’t do online dating. I can see way more than just your words Craig. Craig has the ATL mentality. He’s probably not even from ATL but being here made him realize the situation that exists here. Thirsty woman and an abundance of ignorant normally wouldnt have a shot dudes suddenly in the spotlight like superstars. These dudes get here, see how shit goes and get that “I’m the Hostess dude driving the truck full of cupcakes through fatville” feeling. See, Craig is like the zillions of dudes in Georgia who believe that he is fishing in a bucket. He believes he is a super catch and you just haven’t realized that your opportunity awaits you. Its like he feels like he wanted to give you one more shot to see what you didn’t see the first time you saw his profile bwahahahaha. Girl lets start an import business. We can import men for sex slaves, chef slaves, massage slaves, etc.
He looks like someone’s creepy uncle. He is not the prize catch he thinks he is. He is a definite FAIL.
Yeah, I think the general concensus around these parts is that Craig is feeling himself more than anyone else is. LOL
I am thankful that I’m not one of these “thirsty” women running around Atlanta. These women have some of these men twisted…really twisted.
I don’t chase. I don’t run. I’m not desperate. 😉
Dude is trippin’ and this was funny as hell!! LOL!! The first thing I noticed about him (besides his lame messages) is that he needs a bra! HAHAHAHA!
LMAOOOO!
Dude’s got MOOBS!!! (man boobs)
bwaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa
You mean to tell me that you passed up the opportunity at happiness? Smh.Maybe the next guy who sends warm wishes your way will provide the amount of interest that is required to move you.
Also, you made a good point about the second message being sent.
Maybe, maybe not. LOL But if I decide not to, he shouldn’t assume I’m some thirsty woman (thanks Jaila) dying to be his next conquest. 😉
Keep it movin’ buddy…there’s nothing here for you…keep. it. movin!!
LOL
1st of all ihate slaus for his comment
Also, I agree with Beth, I think he was trying to bait you to strike up a conversation. But you didn’t go for it. But online dating seems to be a hit or miss type of thing. It’s not for everyone. But some people really enjoy it and it find someone *shrug* It’s never really been my thing but I don’t knock it lol. And that IS to say I’ve tried it. I’ve been on a date with someone I met online and umm. . . yea. . .