relationships

The truest expression of a people is in its dance and in its music. Bodies never lie. ~Agnes de Mille

He leads, she follows. He controls the situation and she surrenders, totally. Through submission she feels the freedom. This is on the dance floor.

dance3She is an alpha female, fiercely independent and places no confidence nor trust in a man, any man. Anything a man can do she believes she can do better because she is his equal. In her life she finds it impossible, and stupid, to follow a man’s lead. To her, surrender and submission means a loss of control, dependence…subjection.

If there is any truth to the quote “Dance is the hidden language of the soul. ~Martha Graham”, the majority of women is living in direct contrast to our deepest, most natural desire and it is not a wonder why we are all the more miserable for it. We have fought against the very thing we yearn for most.

For all the good the feminist movement did in achieving social and political equality for women, I think it also did us a great disservice. Over the years this feminism, bra burning, girl power, Gloria Steinem, I am woman hear me roar bullshit has convinced women that we are “equal” to men and that submission/surrender equals oppression.

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It is something I have to remind myself of quite often.

For as long as I can remember, I have been told how much I look like her and how much I act like her. Even I have said it, countless times, going so far as to say I am her “Mini-Me”.

When I was 15 years old, I remember telling my mother, in a fit of anger, that I never wanted to be like her. Fast forwardseveral years when, as a 19-year-old college student, I finally relented.

Chocl8t:     Mom. I give up!

Mom:         What’s wrong baby?

Chocl8t:     I give up! I’m tired of fighting it!

Mom:         What are you talking about? What’s wrong? (very concerned)

Chocl8t:     I am just like YOU! I look like you. Some things I say and I sound like YOU! I give up!

Mom:         (Hysterical laughter)

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“When you decide you want happiness look me up” – Craig

That is a snippet of a very short email from a man I have never met. I will get back to that momentarily.

Several days ago I tweeted that this online dating thing was no better than “offline“. That email offers some proof of that.

Upon embarking on this new adventure, I thought it would be fun. Since I am not looking for a husband to get married, I thought I would, at the very least, meet a couple of interesting people, go on a few dates and it would  be all good. The idea was to diversify my dating pool, as it were, because I don’t do the club scene.

I even entertained the idea of blogging about my experience because many of the profiles and pictures made me giggle and guffaw a few times. Truth is, I howled with laughter at some of them. However, I decided against it.

There would be nothing to gain from poking fun at another’s quest to find love and happiness. There are a multitude of lonely people out there looking for their “soul mates”. To them I bid a sincere, heartfelt God speed.

However….the misguided, arrogant douchebag that sent that message made me say, “Awe, fuck it!”

Let me give you a little background so you can put it in its proper context.

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I haven’t posted in a while but I have had some things on my mind. Here they are in no particular order of importance or relevance.

~ Some lessons are hard learned. Because faith springs hope eternal there is always optimism. Optimism sometimes turns a blind eye to the subtle queues. But it is never too late to recognize and regroup. It is what it is. Accept it…Adapt to it…and Most importantly, Keep It Moving!

~ Why do women need definitions and labels for everything, relationships specifically? When the definition and/or label doesn’t meet the requirement an ultimatum is issued? This, more often than not results in the man walking away, sometimes running. Self-sabatoge at its finest. This leads to another question…Are we as women ever satisfied?

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