W.T.H. !! (What The Hell)

You Want What? Seriously?

When did this become a part of the game?

Side pieces and mistresses suing, demanding apologies and hiring attorneys?

In the wake of Tiger Woods’ fall from grace, Gloria Allred emerged as a kind of crusader against the star golfer, representing at least two of his alleged mistresses (nightlife promoter Rachel Uchitel, porn star Joslyn James) and speaking on behalf of other women in Woods’ life (his kindergarten teacher, Maureen Decker.)

While James and Allred want an apology from Woods, they won’t follow him to the Masters to get it. Allred said her client is moving on with her life, though James is still upset that “he lied to her when he said they would have a life together.” [SOURCE]

Tiger & The Porn Queen

He lied? Oh, the shock!! The horror!!!! (insert sarcasm)

Correct me if I’m wrong…but isn’t that what married men DO who cheat on their wives? LIE?

Nearly every married man who cheats tells the mistress they will “have a life together”. That’s to keep the simple bitch around and available for him to do as he pleases.

He lied. You believed the lie. Now…Tiger has done what many married men do after the affair is exposed – he went back to his WIFE, begging and pleading for forgiveness, no doubt.

Miss me with that demanding an apology bullshit! Tiger owes these hoes NOTHING!! Not an apology, not closure…not even a kleenex for the fake ass tears they may shed.

YOU ARE OWED NOTHING!!

If anything, you owe it to yourself to find some gatdayum self-respect and dignity. First, you can begin with NOT screwing married men.

The Dack Slayer

Secondly, SHUT THE F**K UP!! Stop talking to the media!. You’re an attention seeking whore looking for your claim to fame but I hate to tell you….THIS isn’t it. Mmmkay…Thanks.

Finally…fire that ball busting barracuda Gloria Allred!! That woman looks like she bites off and chews men’s penis’ for a hobby! Why hasn’t she been disbarred is beyond me. She is representing these women for what? What legal rights do you have as a MISTRESS? None.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Girl, bye.

What’s Up With Chocl8t?

These times when I am not posting are rarely ever planned. It happens when I am not willing to pen the thoughts in my head nor what is going on with me. For the past couple of weeks I retreated into the tortoise-shell. As you can see, I am poking my head out.

Now..to what I have been up to…

* I am back in the gym…it’s killing me softly but I am hanging in there.

* Finished up my volunteer project with Omasaze’s Reading Saturday. This had to have been one of the most gratifying and rewarding thing I have done. Since October, I volunteered every Saturday morning helping a child with their reading and word recognition.

At the start of the program, each child is tested to determine how many words they can recognize. Victor, the first grader assigned to me, scored 31 out of 200 words. At the end he was tested again and scored 141 words!!!! Yes…I am stoked!!! GO VICTOR!!!!

* Spent a weekend visiting family in Chicago. Delta Airlines lost my luggage on the return flight. Gone are three pairs of my favorite jeans and several other items. I am SO. NOT. HAPPY about this. Not happy at all! GRRRRRR!!! 😦

* After some cajoling from a dear friend and with great trepidation, I have joined an online dating site. UGH! Firstly, I am not looking for a husband however, dating in Atlanta isn’t easy if you’re not into the club scene with the “youngins”.

Let’s say I get a good giggle just about every day, if not from the “onscreen” names,  from the photos. I saw a picture of one guy who looked like he was in a perpetual state of surprise. Then the other guy whose name is “darkjedilova” looking like a burnt match with these super spooky eyes (probably has a dismembered woman stashed in the freezer). LOL

I’ve exchanged emails with a few guys and had an IM chat with one guy who automatically placed me in the typical stereotype group. I could tell from his line of questioning that he has been listening to and watching the clips on Nightline about black women being too picky.

For example:

“Why are you single and why did you join XXX.COM.” (harmless enough) So when I answered that I’ve spent most of my adult life wanting to be married and have children but now I’m just enjoying life. He comes back with: “Sounds good, but do you think that maybe your expectations are too high? Have you ever been in a serious lasting relationship?” and “Do you base your relationships, on what happened or happens in your friends relationships?

My response, “too high expectations? Whatever gave you that idea?”

After that I was irked but continued with the chat. I haven’t heard from that guy since nor do I wish to ever again. It just really bugs me how people just make unfounded assumptions. But no worries…NEXT!!!!!

Had a dinner date with “bigmark“…a date he initiated. ::DEEP SIGH:: I tried soooo hard to engage this guy in conversation…I almost broke out in a sweat. A few words here. A sentence or two there. Painful does not begin to describe the experience.  LOL….NEXT!!!

There you have it. A few of the goings on in the life of Chocl8t. Hopefully, I will not be away for long next time. 😉

Bullshit, Propaganda, & Other Statistical Data

Awe f**k!! Here we go again with THIS boolshyt…

That was my initial reaction and comment when reading the OHN post “Are Black Women Too Picky“.

As a 43-year-old black woman, I should throw in the towel and call this life quits. Sometimes it feels like and all out assault on black women.

According to “statistics“, the reason I am not married, along with 40% of black women in America, is that the majority of black men are incarcerated, gay, or dating Kim Kardashian.

According to author, (I use the term loosely), Jimi Izrael’s TRASH book “The Denzel Principle“, black women are too picky. We should toss aside all standards and hook up with the likes of his twice divorced three baby mamma ass!! I heard that tidbit of information when he was on the Tom Joyner Morning Show several weeks ago.

Yeah…whatevah dude!

Even if I can lower my standards and find an available black man to marry at my age, my chances of having children has dramatically plummeted due to the ever decreasing number of eggs I’m producing…and those I do produce “ain’t ’bout shyt“.  A scientific term. *wink*

That’s right people – my eggs are hard-boiled! Be on the lookout for that autistic corky kid wearing the helmet licking the school bus window – he’ll be mine.

Yeah, according to “statistics”, slanted science, and bitter authors looking for a payday, I should just say “fuck it”. F.M.L.!!!!

That is…IF I believed everything I read or hear or if I were easily influenced by others’ opinions.

Think about the theory of self-fulfilling prophecy:

Positive or negative expectations about circumstances, events, or people that may affect a person’s behavior toward them in a manner that he or she (unknowingly) creates situations in which those expectations are fulfilled.

But I remain on a constant vigil not to internalize the negative crap I hear on a regular. My advice to other black women is to do the same. Tune it out! Stop and think about how and why these messages are being disseminated and definitely consider the sources.

Remember….

Cogito ergo sum………..I think, therefore I am. – Descartes

Tillikum – Killikum….REDRUM REDRUM!!

That’s it! I am joining PETA!!!

HA!! There’s no way in HELL that is ever happening but this latest incident at SeaWorld in Orlando has irked the shit out of me.

If you have not heard about the Orca, Tillikum, killing its trainer, Dawn Brancheau, you’ve been under a rock somewhere. So, if that is the case, you can read about it HERE and HERE.

I have never been an “animal rights” advocate. The only “rights” any animal in the food chain has is the right to be on my plate fried, smothered-n-covered, medium rare, or well done. Domesticated pets such as cats and dogs are the exception. AND for the record – I HATE PETA with every fiber of my being.

Tillikum Killikum

However, theat being said, I am totally disgusted with the position SeaWorld has taken in the wake of Dawn Brancheau’s death at the hands jaws of Tillikum. They have attributed this “accident” to trainer error and the show must go on. Starting tomorrow, Saturday 2/27, the “killer” whale show will resume with the stipulation being trainers will not be allowed in the water with the animals.

Am I the only person angered by this?

The SeaWorld corporation sees its bottom line too important to do the right thing. They stand to loose too much money by releasing the whales back into their natural habitat. The reason they are trying to sell to the general public is that they are doing us a great service by allowing you to see the animals up close, educating us about them, and basically preserving the species – regardless of the harm done to the animal and the loss of human life. (Check the video below)

Needless to say – I couldn’t disagree more strongly!

As long as the demand is there – meaning as long as YOU pay to see “Shamu & Friends”, SeaWorld will continue to exploit these animals and undoubtedly, more trainers will die. Neither of which sits well with me.

But I am only one person. ::shrugs::

Where do you stand on the issue?

The 20 Minute Workout That Almost Killed Me!!

It has been six months since I have been to the gym. Yes, I’ve been slacking – slipping on my fitness game. The past few weeks has been spent motivating myself to get back into the groove.

Motivation finally turned into action Sunday morning when I made the trip to Wally-World, (Wal-Mart for you short bus riders), to buy a jump rope and 5lb ankle weights. The rationale is to ease back into the routine so it will not be such a “shock” to my body.

So I’m back at the house, in the garage, iPod tethered to my arm, earphone in ear, ankles weighed down, and jump rope in hand. I set th timer on my phone to 30 minutes while I’m thinking ‘this isn’t going to be so bad’.

Three minutes later I’m gasping for air, walking around in circles, and scratching like a heroin addict.

WTH was I thinking?!! I’m dying!!! DYINNNNGGGGG!!!!!

I need some water! Yeah…my mouth is parched.

I run upstairs to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and head back to the garage. I am determined to push through it!

After jumping for another minute or so, (I swear it felt longer), I decide to do squats. I manage to get in 50 and I jump for another minute or two all the while panting like I have run a marathon and my heart pounding like crazy. It’s on to 50 dead lifts (using a piece of firewood for resistance), 50 more squats, and another round of jumping.

With my legs feeling like Jell-O, I quit. When I stop th timer on my phone, only 20 minutes have elapsed.

This is going to be harder than I first thought….Pray for me. 😐