Chocl8t Ramblings

Valentine’s Day

Originally posted February 12, 2008

brokenheart.jpgIn honor of that wretched stank ass holiday that is Valentine’s, I have decided to reflect on a couple of “love gone wrong” highlights of my past.

But first the disclaimer: I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY! I think it is like most other holidays – commercialized and geared to guilt men into buying flowers, candy, jewelry and other trinkets in order to increase retailers’ bottom line. Women get bent out of shape and pissed off to the highest level of Pisstivity if the man they are married to or “booed” up with fails to come through with any of the aforementioned “guilt gifts”.

Y’all have got to stop drinking the Kool-Aid!

My hatred of the holiday presents the conundrum of all conundrums because it is also my birthday. Oh, I can hear you now, “Ooooh, that’s so sweet. A Valentine’s baby“. SAVE IT! The sh*t blows worse than an Beluga whale…worse than a hooker on Stewart Avenue (the ho strip in Atlanta)…worse than Vivica Fox…worse than, ah hell, you get the point.

I was 22 yrs old, he was 23. We lived together when I first moved to Atlanta. We were immature and dysfunctional. He liked to man-handle me…never hit me with an closed fist just pushed and shoved (like that really makes a difference) when we would get into heated arguments. For a skinny dude he was strong as hell and I knew I couldn’t kick his a$$ so after one of those pushing and shoving moments, I grabbed the biggest knife in the kitchen. As I walked towards him his eyes got as big as saucers. I stomped passed him, out the front door and to his prized ’82 red Mustang GT with the dual-quad carburetor…his “baby“. Flattened all four of those high performance tires, yes I did!! Hit ‘em where it hurts was my philosophy. Turned out to be an expensive philosophy too cause I had to replace the dayum tires. Young. Stupid. In love.

Read Full Article

The 20 Minute Workout That Almost Killed Me!!

It has been six months since I have been to the gym. Yes, I’ve been slacking – slipping on my fitness game. The past few weeks has been spent motivating myself to get back into the groove.

Motivation finally turned into action Sunday morning when I made the trip to Wally-World, (Wal-Mart for you short bus riders), to buy a jump rope and 5lb ankle weights. The rationale is to ease back into the routine so it will not be such a “shock” to my body.

So I’m back at the house, in the garage, iPod tethered to my arm, earphone in ear, ankles weighed down, and jump rope in hand. I set th timer on my phone to 30 minutes while I’m thinking ‘this isn’t going to be so bad’.

Three minutes later I’m gasping for air, walking around in circles, and scratching like a heroin addict.

WTH was I thinking?!! I’m dying!!! DYINNNNGGGGG!!!!!

I need some water! Yeah…my mouth is parched.

I run upstairs to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and head back to the garage. I am determined to push through it!

After jumping for another minute or so, (I swear it felt longer), I decide to do squats. I manage to get in 50 and I jump for another minute or two all the while panting like I have run a marathon and my heart pounding like crazy. It’s on to 50 dead lifts (using a piece of firewood for resistance), 50 more squats, and another round of jumping.

With my legs feeling like Jell-O, I quit. When I stop th timer on my phone, only 20 minutes have elapsed.

This is going to be harder than I first thought….Pray for me. 😐

NAACP – Still Effective? Still Practical?

Since its inception in 1909, the NAACP, National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, has been a beacon of hope for the African American community (Black community from here on because I am not African). It was the spring board for those who championed the Civil Rights movement and served as the “go-to” organization when seeking justice for racial civil injustices in the not so distanced past.

In recent years, however, I have questioned the necessity and the effectiveness of the NAACP in the 20th century. A recent article on NPR’s website made me question it yet again.

Julia Rose profiles a historic neighborhood in Charlotte, North Carolina that has some ugly history recorded in the property deeds. Discriminatory language such as “This lot shall be owned and occupied by people of the Caucasian race only” was written into deeds and was commonplace at the time the homes were built. The passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, of course, made such practices and language illegal. I imagine anyone who has taken a civics or history class in high school or college should know this. These documents are a part of the ugly history of the United States and should serve as a reminder of how far we have come as a race and as a country.

However, William Barber, president of the North Carolina NAACP, is filing a lawsuit to have the racist clause removed from the deeds. This seems very impractical and a wast of time, money, and effort in my opinion.

“If you saw that, it could in fact create what we call freezing — making people think twice about going. It could create psychic harm,” Barber says. “It could create discouragement.” [Source]

Psychic harm? Soooo, in other words, Mr Barber assumes black people are too obtuse to understand it is “illegal” and is merely a part of a “completed legal recording” and will be “discouraged” from purchasing property. I mean, after all, according to a local NAACP chapter website…

“The primary focus continues to be the protection and enhancement of the civil rights of African Americans and other minorities.”

So you see, Mr. Barber and the NAACP is here to protect stupid black people from being duped, bamboozled, hoodwinked, or even “psyched”.

::SIDE-EYE…..DEEP SIGH::

Or…could this be a poor attempt for the organization to remain relevant in the 21st century? To keep a segment of the Black community with an enslaved oppressed mentality convincing them they still need to be “rescued”?

How is it a leader within this organization can come to the logical and rational conclusion that this “issue” is worth going to court over? How does this fight “enhance” my civil rights or any other minority?

Yes, this is only one example but with a little research, I am certain you, (yes, you), can come up with more examples of the misdirected and misguided intentions of this beloved, yet beleaguered and outdated, organization.

So, I am still left asking how effective is the NAACP in the 21st century?

An Open Letter to the American Missionaries in Haiti

Dear American Missionaries,  

I have been watching your story unfold and I have grown more annoyed and pissed off with each passing day. (Their story is HERE).  

Last night I attempted to write about this and became so frustrated, I put it away. Frustrated because I could not find the words to succinctly describe just how stupid I think you truly are.  

We're On A Mission From God!!

Yes, STUPID!! OBTUSE! DENSE! DUMB! And dare I say it…dare I….”FUCKING RETARDED!!!!”  

You went to Haiti with the intent to gather 300 “orphaned” children and bring them to the Dominican Republic for adoption despite the fact you were warned that your plan, your “mission”, was illegal. Now, worst case scenario is you can face 15 years in prison for each charge.  

You claimed to be carrying out God’s will. God’s will? What? Did he speak to you? How do you know what God’s will is anyway? Seriously. Did God’s will instruct you to break the law and steal children away from their impoverished parents with the promise of a better life? (Many of the children found with the missionaries were not orphaned by the earthquake by the way.)  

Now I ask, are you missionaries child traffickers or delusional Christian zealots? I say, BOTH.  

It’s zealots like you that give Christians, in particular, and religion, in general, a bad name. You give more credence to the argument that those who are deeply entrenched in religion tend to have lower IQs.  

Look, don’t get pissy with me for pointing it out. Check out the statistical data on the chart for yourself! (Click the image for a larger view.)  

Anyone who blindly follows another person, organization, or religion without using his/her brain is cognitively challenged and deserve whatever they get!  

Oh, and don’t start crying about religious persecution either! You’re not being persecuted for your religous beliefs but, God willing (pun intended), you will be prosecuted for breaking the law!! God had nothing to do with you making the decision to knowingly and willingly operate outside of the parameters of the laws in Haiti. You did that all on your own and you will suffer the consequences.  

Bottom line….stop doing dumb illegal shit in God’s name!  

Be blessed. ::makes sign of cross over my heart::  

Regards,
Chocl8t  

Life In Lyrics

If you can’t be with the one you love like, love like the one you’re with. – The Isley Brothers

I have found myself in this situation more than once. I find myself there now. I spend time with him by default because, quite frankly, it’s something to do. He’s something to do.

I call him when I want to be in the company of a man…when I want to be touched by a man. There’s no longer any emotional attachment for me. Oh, I used to love him – was “in love” with him, but no more.

After plans fell through with a male friend, I received a text from “the default” to “hang out”. I think ‘what the hell…I don’t have anything better to do so…why not’. He wasn’t my first choice but after 2 Patron shots I head to his side of town. The shots were my attitude adjustment.

As I’m laying there, Chrisette Michele’s “If I Have My Way” begins to play courtesy of XM radio.

You’re who I desire
You light my fire…
With every kiss
You take me higher

My mind drifts…I LOVE this song.  Damn! Nooo, he’s not who I desire.

There’s no one I’d rather share my good lovin with…

Damn! Yes…there is somebody and it’s not the guy attached to the bald head betwixt my thighs.

One day we’ll make love
Passion unheard of
I’ll be your woman
If I have my way…

Sigh…deep sigh…if I had my way this would be someone else.

“My body’s here with him but my mind is on the other side of town”

…in my mind, the O’Jays interrupt Ms Michele’s lovely ballad.

I wake up the next morning to breakfast and a hot shower. On the drive home, I do what I’ve done many times before in this past year…I promise myself this is the last time.