An Open Letter to the American Missionaries in Haiti

Dear American Missionaries,  

I have been watching your story unfold and I have grown more annoyed and pissed off with each passing day. (Their story is HERE).  

Last night I attempted to write about this and became so frustrated, I put it away. Frustrated because I could not find the words to succinctly describe just how stupid I think you truly are.  

We're On A Mission From God!!

Yes, STUPID!! OBTUSE! DENSE! DUMB! And dare I say it…dare I….”FUCKING RETARDED!!!!”  

You went to Haiti with the intent to gather 300 “orphaned” children and bring them to the Dominican Republic for adoption despite the fact you were warned that your plan, your “mission”, was illegal. Now, worst case scenario is you can face 15 years in prison for each charge.  

You claimed to be carrying out God’s will. God’s will? What? Did he speak to you? How do you know what God’s will is anyway? Seriously. Did God’s will instruct you to break the law and steal children away from their impoverished parents with the promise of a better life? (Many of the children found with the missionaries were not orphaned by the earthquake by the way.)  

Now I ask, are you missionaries child traffickers or delusional Christian zealots? I say, BOTH.  

It’s zealots like you that give Christians, in particular, and religion, in general, a bad name. You give more credence to the argument that those who are deeply entrenched in religion tend to have lower IQs.  

Look, don’t get pissy with me for pointing it out. Check out the statistical data on the chart for yourself! (Click the image for a larger view.)  

Anyone who blindly follows another person, organization, or religion without using his/her brain is cognitively challenged and deserve whatever they get!  

Oh, and don’t start crying about religious persecution either! You’re not being persecuted for your religous beliefs but, God willing (pun intended), you will be prosecuted for breaking the law!! God had nothing to do with you making the decision to knowingly and willingly operate outside of the parameters of the laws in Haiti. You did that all on your own and you will suffer the consequences.  

Bottom line….stop doing dumb illegal shit in God’s name!  

Be blessed. ::makes sign of cross over my heart::  


5 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the American Missionaries in Haiti

  1. Hmm…doesn’t seem like I’ll start believing in god any time soon.

    Great post. I totally agree with you. They should DEFINITELY be prosecuted.

  2. Yes, i read about this as well. It scared me, left me feeling sad to even think about what some people will do in the name of God.

    Haiti is bad, we all agree, but I wonder if these “mercenaries” ever stopped to think about what family means to family, especially in great times of need?

  3. The same thing happened in The Sudan in the height of the senseless slaughter a year ago. That time, it was French “missionaries”. Unfortunately, they were turned over to the French government with the intent of them serving hard labor. They KNEW the children in question were not orphaned. It soon faded away from the spotlight. People of color get screwed over time and time again – we will have to bring it to a close sometime soon. This story will inevitably fade from the limelight as well.

  4. Hearty round of applause Choc. Brilliantly and succinctly put. Bunch of grade A arseholes. There are a worrying amount of religious organisations out there (including the pinnacle of dark insanity that are the Scientologists), and there just HAS to be some nasty stuff going on (as this example proves). And by nasty stuff, I mean the exploitation of the situation to persuade people towards their particular ’cause’. Angers the hell out of me. Also, excellent and fascinating table you have there – I’d love it if there were a UK version……

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