To say I was excited was a gross understatement. This trip to Hawaii was supposed to be a dream vacation to paradise and it would have been had I chosen to go alone or with another group of people. I will preface what I am about to say with I love my family but I don’t necessarily “like” them. I find that I like them less and less with the passage of time.

My vacation pictures shows smiling faces with an idyllic backdrop but what it does not show is the lost luggage, bad attitudes, spitefulness, bitterness, irresponsibility, immaturity, and ungratefulness.

A financially irresponsible sister relying on an insurance claim, which was denied, to fund her vacation started a chain reaction. My sister has a long history of financial irresponsibility and expecting someone to bail her out. That someone, in most cases, has been our mother. This time was no different.

Swooping down to the rescue, mom, whom I’ve secretly renamed “Captain Save-A-Ho”, pays for my sister’s portion of the hotel room which means she has no money for extra activities like tours, luau, etc. My auntie, who so desperately wants to attend a luau, suggests to me that if I pay my mother’s way, she’ll cover my sister. I replied, “NO”. I had the means to do so but I refused to do so, on GP.

Mean? Nope, not at all; self preservation and tough love. I also decided not to go snorkeling or jet skiing because I didn’t want to feel guilty about going and others not being able to go also.

Pair that with the airline losing my aunt’s luggage and you have a recipe for nothing short of a disaster. She griped the entire time about this and how she’s never using a buddy pass to fly again, in essence taking digs at my sister, the airline employee who provided said buddy pass.

As you can see, I’m with a stellar group there in paradise.

The most painful thing for me was coming to the realization that my mother has allowed herself to become stuck in a perpetual state of bitterness and misery. There have been many instances where this has been apparent to me but none as memorable as what happened in the airport on the way home.

My mother had a knee replacement about a year ago and still suffers with pain and limited range of motion with that leg. She had been in slight pain as evidenced by her limp but was managing it with daily doses of Aleve. At the Honolulu airport, we made the unfortunate choice of sitting on a row of seats where passengers formed a line to board the plane. A young lady accidentally kicked my mother’s foot (the bad leg). Mother grimaced and vocally let it be known it hurt. The young lady proceeded to apologize.

After the young lady had taken a few steps away from us, my mother mumbles, to my horror, “Sorry, doesn’t stop the pain.” I touch my mother on her arm and proceed to assure her that I was sure the young lady didn’t willfully hurt her and her apology was sincere. Mother repeated her statement with sheer indignation. My response was a simple question, “What ever happened to being gracious?”. She had no response other than a scowl.

My vacation wasn’t all it could have been but it wasn’t all a complete bust. We did visit Pearl Harbor and the USS Arizona but most of my time was spent getting tipsy on Waikiki beach and “drunk texting” pictures of me in my bikini to a male friend. Even though alcohol is not allowed on the beach, I did manage to sneak in my personal cocktails. My goose-n-juice salvaged what would have otherwise been a completely miserable experience.

Most times I try to keep a positive outlook even in the most negative situations; always looking for the lessons so I dare not find myself re-living the same mistake again.

My vacation to Hawaii was chock full of lessons:

• I will never travel with my family again. NEVERRRR!!
• I can not save everyone no matter how desperately I may want to do so.
• “Tough Love” hurts all parties involved. Although very necessary, it still hurts like hell.
• Although I look like my mother, I don’t have to be “like” her.

Next trip, Trinidad for Carnival. Family not invited.