As I was flipping through my journal, I came across an entry from two years ago. Reading it made me realize just how much things have changed for me.
I was also reminded of the many, many people who are struggling with loneliness and depression this time of year. The holiday season’s focus on family, couples, gift giving can exacerbate the lingering feelings of loneliness.
So, I want to take this time to encourage you reading this to reach out to those single unattached friends, family members, and neighbors. Invite them to breakfast, lunch or dinner. Maybe a holiday party or to church, if you attend.
I also wanted to share with you that journal entry from 2 years ago. I do this because I know I wasn’t alone in feeling what I was feeling but at that time, it surely felt like I was. Maybe, just maybe someone out there will come across this blog entry and realize that it does get better and they will be encouraged to keep forging ahead. And the only way it will get better is that they don’t give up.
10/09/2006 – There is a longing deep within – an ache. I can manage to suppress it most times but it has a way of bubbling to the top to create and even deeper sadness. A heavy sadness weighing on the heart like a ton of cement. What is it? Loneliness.
It’s hard to write about it without worrying someone might one day read it and think ‘what deep despair she was in’. I want to avoid pity. I seek only understanding – not yours but my own.
I have little regard for another’s opinion of me since I have realized that my opinion of me is often times more critical. I work diligently to defeat the negative self assessments. Many would be surprised at that only because they are not really honest with themselves and are fearful to be that honest with anyone else.
There are some who would, upon reading this, rush to offer well intended advice on how I should be or think. Where does that need to fix me come from? I find it offensive. I am beautifully human with flaws, shortcomings, and insecurities. Any attempt to change that is a quest for perfections not found in a human being. Perfection is the Creator Himself.
So I don’t share these thoughts and in doing so, it fosters a degree of alienation thus feeding the longing deep within – an ache.
Be encouraged! Peace will come….Joy, will come.
Share your thoughts…
I Am Chocl8t 
Choc, your blog mom is very proud of you. You are an intelligent, insightful, beautiful woman. I enjoy, as I always do, reading your posts. Writing comes easy to you. I consider meeting you in Atlanta, one of my favorite moments this past year. Merry Christmas young one. May this coming year be all you hope it will be.
Nice. I trust that you are in a better place, today. I’ll try to reach out as you suggested. Who knows – perhaps, as a result, someone else will be in a better place as well. Happy holidays. Peace.
good points CHOC.
I like how you compare personal imperfection with the perfection of our Creator; very true words.
I too suffer from excessive self-criticism, but know that it can be a tool used to help others. If we aren’t able to see our own faults and frailties, how would we possibly be able to empathize with others?
May God Bless and give joy to you in this holiday season!
Ara
I have always enjoyed the holidays. The year my mother passed I thought I would not enjoy Christmas, but my family sat around discussing all the great times we had during the holidays with my mother and I truly enjoyed myself. The holidays are about family & fellowship. If you don’t have family around, make someone else’s holiday great which will in turn make you feel good. It’s the glass half empty theory.
I’m glad these days you are seeing your glass as half full. 🙂