I’m not sure why I retreated into my cocoon but it was not long after I moved into my current home about 7 years ago. If I was pressed to give an answer as to “why” I would tell you it was not one reason but a culmination of several things.
On the heels of some really intense drama in my life (more on this later), I began saving for the down payment of my current home and eliminated a lot of unnecessary and frivolous spending. This meant little to no hanging out subsequently and hanging out in the club scene in Atlanta had long ago lost its appeal. The few close friends I had at the time were newly married and their lifestyles differed from mine. In other words, they were “boo’d up” and I wasn’t in a steady relationship.
As the result of the aforementioned drama, I felt I had to chill out for a while anyway. I made some questionable decisions surrounding a platonic female friendship and a romantic male relationship which were intertwined and drama filled. It was the stuff Novellas are made of and I was smack dab in middle. The experience left me feeling empty, guilty, and I didn’t feel I could trust myself because I betrayed the trust of someone who considered me a friend. Had I utilized my usual modus operandi of long observation, a “feeling out” period, I never would have allowed her within my inner circle of friends but before I knew it, we were fast “friends”. I am not going to go into details in this post for it will take away from the original intent. But don’t fret. I will bare my soul, air my dirty laundry…I think it’s time to clean that skeleton out of the closet anyway, but later…soon, just not now.
Don’t get it twisted. I was not holed up in my home every night nor did I completely shut myself off from the outside world but I did manage to fall into a rut. The rut of going to work, home, and church. The occasional family outing, a movie, a date, and managed to slip into two ill-fated “relationships” (I use the term loosely here).
Lately, that has changed. Like Diana Ross’ well known tune says…”I’m coming out!”. 😀
In the last couple of months, I have made a concerted effort to get out of that rut. To get out more. To reconnect with some old friends who made me laugh and whose company & conversation I have enjoyed. I have been enjoying life. My life. Making the most of it and living in the moment.
Here’s to my “resurgence” and to those friends to whom I have reached out or who reached out to me to reconnect. So…Leslie R., Tomieca, Priscilla, Kim, & Coop…big hugs and hope to see y’all on the paintball field really, really soon!!! 😉