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Gabby Douglas & The Dark Side of the Moon

Gabrielle Douglas – Gold Medalist, Olympian

We cheered for Gabby Douglas when she helped the US Women’s gymnastics team win the gold and when she became the first African American female to win the gold in the Women’s Individual All-Around.

We managed to say “aaaww” when her father, Staff Sergeant Timothy Douglas and currently deployed in Afghanistan, surprised her at the Olympic Finals after not seeing each other for two years. We shed a tear listening to her story of huge sacrifice resulting in a huge pay-off.

We marveled at her mother’s selflessness allowing her baby girl to mover 3,000+ miles away to train for the Olympics and live with a family that welcomed her in their home lovingly.

We then went out and proudly bought our box of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes with Gabby on the cover.

Gabby’s story highlights all that is good in this world – Sacrifice, hard work, selflessness, love and family. She is now America’s darling and will be enjoying the fruits of her hard labor and rightfully so.

However, there’s a dark side to this sudden thrust into fame and being the center of mainstream media’s attention. The same media that highlights Gabby’s accomplishments in London are simultaneously digging into her family’s personal and private affairs.

Just the other day, Entertainment Tonight ran story on her mom, Natalie Hawkins’ bankruptcy and receiving disability making sure to mention the parents’ pending divorce. Today, the NY Post ran a story calling Sgt Douglas a deadbeat dad citing (alleged) quotes from Gabby Douglas.

Sadly enough, I think this is just the beginning of these stories and it isn’t just Gabby feeling the sting. Several major news outlets ran a story on Ryan Lochte’s mother’s home being in foreclosure.

Neither Gabby’s nor Ryan’s families deserve this type of scrutiny nor to be picked apart…to have their private personal affairs aired out by the media. It’s unfair to all parties involved.

This is a testament to how low mainstream media has sunk. Stack ’em up to knock ’em down.

My hope is that both families manage to navigate through the darkness the bright lights of fame brings and come out on the other side, hopefully unscathed.

Wax On…Wax Off

Sex education and advocating “safe sex” is giving teens permission to have sex.

Allowing pre-teen/early teenage girls to get a bikini wax “could be over-sexualizing” them.

Both of these “theories” are totally absurd to me. TOTALLY.

Earlier in the week, ABCs Good Morning America aired a segment titled “Waxing for Girls Younger Than 15?”. A local ad for Unik Wax Salon promoting a special for teens 15 and younger spurred fierce debate. As reported in the original piece, women on “mommy” sites were in an uproar voicing both approval and disgust.

“To encourage it at such a young age is completely inappropriate and disgusting,” a New York City woman said after seeing the ad” [Source]

Inappropriate? Disgusting?

The onset of puberty in the average girl begins roughly around the age of 9-10 and pubic hair is a part of that process, like it or not. [Source] It’s my theory that the hormones and antibiotics present in the meats we consume these days accelerates the start of puberty. [Source]

When I entered puberty I remember my mother having a series of conversations with me about my ever-so-quickly changing body. One of those conversations centered around hair growth (underarms and pubic area) an the importance of personal hygiene.

Aside from being unsightly while growing beyond the panty line like Kudzu or looking like you have two afro puffs in your arm pits, hair holds odor. As a teen I shaved my underarms and bikini line. In no way did this ritual in hygiene and personal maintenance “sexualize” me.

Because I was, and still am, a hairy girl, my mother made it a point to school me on the art of hair removal. Shaving was the only affordable option available to a single mother on a budget. But man…I wish waxing had been a viable option. Hell, I don’t think my mom even knew what waxing was at that time. It would have saved me from the painful bumps of ingrown hairs and the dark coloration under my arms.

The questions I want to ask those who oppose teens waxing…is it the method with which they take issue?

If so, would they be more comfortable with any other depilatory method?

How does waxing “over-sexualize”, or even sexualize, a young girl?

Is a razor or depilatory cream less disgusting and more appropriate?

Seriously, I need someone to explain that logic to me.

Ten Foot Indian

Back in March, after considering all my options, I made a decision. A decision not based on emotions but rather on logic and good business sense.

Today, I am scared. Ironic, isn’t it?

From all outward appearances things seem to be in complete disarray and are not going according to plan.

A deadline is quickly approaching and certain things are not in place nor finalized. Key players seem to be avoiding me or are slow to respond. A promising employment opportunity seems to have evaporated right before my eyes for reasons I have yet to comprehend nor am I aware.

My rational mind tells me to chill and reassures me that things will work out. However,…that emotional, irrational mind feels as if I’ve lost control of the situation. It has caused me to question and second guess myself when just only a few days ago I was so confident and sure of what I was doing.

A good friend recently told me to think of fear as the 10-foot Indian. A 10-foot Indian doesn’t exist so there is really nothing to fear.

Someone should tell her he’s standing at my front door.

Fatal Attraction – Confessions Of A “Brief” Chocl8t Jezebel

distortionIt was the stuff Novellas are made of and I was smack dab in middle. The experience left me feeling empty, guilty, and I didn’t feel I could trust myself because I betrayed the trust of someone who considered me a friend. Had I utilized my usual modus operandi of a long observation, a “feeling out” period, I never would have allowed her within my inner circle of friends but before I knew it, we were fast “friends”.

We spent a lot of time bonding over martinis at the hottest nightspots in the ATL and over shots at family cookouts, which were just about every other weekend during that time. We met at work when she and her live-in boyfriend relocated from another state.

Lisa and Michael seemed to be the perfect couple as he doted on her and from all outward appearances was still in love after seven years. He was tall, dark, and very handsome. And as cliché-ish as that sounds, it’s true. I developed a close friendship with both Michael and Lisa. After a minor out-patient surgery, he called to check on me as well as she did.

The first sign of trouble was Lisa’s attraction to another co-worker, whom I will call, Myron. She was taken in by his charm, I guess, and the fact that he made six figures…something to which she also aspired. Despite the fact that Myron was married with four children it didn’t seem to matter to Lisa because he regaled her with stories of a loveless marriage to a woman with mental issues. She believed him. We all did.

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Stop Feeding At The Trough!!

Have you ever complained / lamented about the lack of positive portrayals of African American women in the media (i.e. reality TV shows)?

Are you sick of seeing African American women portrayed as loud, obtuse, bitter, hateful, nefarious gold-digging, fame-seeking whores whose decision making and life choices have proven to be questionable at best and down right stupid at worst as evident by the current state of affairs in their lives?

Do you watch Real Housewives of Atlanta, Love & Hip Hop (NY & Atlanta), or Basketball Wives? Well, I hate to inform you of this but you are a part of the problem.

Look at ’em eat it up!!

My grandparents owned a farm and I spent many summers with them. I remember begging my grandfather to let me help slop the hogs – that’s feeding the pigs for you non-country folks. In addition to the store bought feed my grandfather would mix with water, the hogs were fed all the food that was thrown in the garbage. Food that had spoiled, rotten fruit, watermelon rinds, the scraps from the dinner table, half eaten sandwiches, orange peels, etc., etc.

There was a bucket next to the back porch steps where this “slop” was stored. Every few days my grandfather fed this putrid smelling, fly infested mess to the hogs and they lapped up every drop pretty much in the same manner as you consume the “slop” offered to you within the programming content of the aforementioned television shows.

I know this will fall on deaf ears and leave you mute like Helen Keller but the argument, or justification, that it is simply entertainment is a bullshit excuse used to avoid accountability. And yes, you are accountable.

“If you build it, they will come”. And so you have.

You’ve come to the trough snorting and grunting and gobbling up the garbage with great fervor and the networks keep feeding it to you knowing your appetite will never be satiated.

But remember, you are what you eat! So please, stop feeding at the trough!!!!

Huh…you talking to me?