W.T.H. !! (What The Hell)

Single & Cynical in the City

It’s no secret that I’m single. It’s also no secret that it is hard being a single female in Atlanta. Hard if you choose not to screw men for sport or money, have some measure of dignity, and can recognize game when you see it. With that being said it should come as no surprise that I have been experiencing a long dry season. For a while it even seemed as if I couldn’t even buy a date…nothing was poppin for the kid. NOTHING!!

In the past couple of days I’ve had brief conversations with two potential “dates” or suitors. I hate those initial “getting to know you” talks. HATE ‘EM! Both young men made the same comment that causes a natural gag reflex with me.

“So, tell me about yourself“. Uuuugggghhhh!!!

There has to be a better way to get to know each other without feeling like I’m on a job interview or auditioning for The Bachelor/Bachelorette!!!  I don’t want to feel as if I’m giving you a run down of my qualifications.

[in my best game show contestant voice] ‘Well, my name is Chocl8t. I’m 41 years old. I enjoy hiking, kayaking, bowling, and white water rafting. I’m an Aquarius and I’m a people person’. Uuuugghhh!!!

Could it be these guys just haven’t mastered the art of conversation? Or could it be I’m just cynical, jaded and just expect too much? Is it too much to want an effortless conversation that flows like a cool stream? Is it too much to want to laugh and joke in the process?

What is your technique or M.O. in getting to know someone? Do you run down a list of questions or do you let the conversation flow and go where it goes?

Pied Piper Predator

By now we have all heard the news that RKelly was acquitted on all charges of child pornography by a Chicago jury last week. Many think the prosecution’s case was weak while others are outraged that the R&B superstar has gotten away with exploiting yet another young girl. There are also those who think he should have never been brought up on charges to begin with and are very happy he’s dodged the bullet.The entire business surrounding this habitual pedophile has pissed me off and leaves me wondering what message does this send our young black females. Better yet, what has it done to help reinforce existing negative messages to our young girls and women about their self-worth?

I had a conversation with someone that left me very disturbed and wondering if, what I perceive as, their faulty logic is what keeps RKelly so popular within our community.

In short, I expressed my disappointment with the verdict only to be met with exhuberance and glee at the prospect of a new RKelly CD by the end of summer. When my response registered with the individual she proceeded to explain that while she doesn’t “condone” the behavior they can surely understand “how” and “why” such situations exist especially for an entertainer with fame and fortune.

During our conversation she told of how she was sexually active at 13 yrs old, how at the age of 15 was sleeping with a 21 year old man, recalling how she would get into clubs on fake IDs, telling men she was older than she really was, etc., etc. Because of these things she understands how the Kelly’s fame and fortune is a magnet for young girls. Basically, her reasoning is it really isn’t the man’s fault when young, fast, hot-in-the-pants, females make themselves available. “It is…what it is.”

Is this really how ‘it is’?

The first thing that popped into my head while she spoke was “who are the adults that failed you…failed to protect and guide you?”

I was a straight laced goody-two-shoes little girl, a book worm. As a matter of fact I was afraid of boys until I was 18 yrs old and didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19 almost 20. Having been molested at a young age kept me from the usual boy/girl shenanigans during my adolescent years. I remained “green” for a long, long time and for that I’m thankful. VERY THANKFUL!

My next thought was could our different experiences during adolescence have any bearing on our vastly differing views of these things? Does yours?

I can’t pretend to understand where she’s coming from, I can’t. It only reinforces that deep longing urge to protect young girls (and boys) all the more.

So, tell me what you think is at the root of this “it’s okay” mentality – the willingness for the black community to give predators like RKelly a pass.

How To Recession Proof Your Job – Chocl8t’s Way

In these times of economic downturns, high fuel prices, and financial uncertainty those of us employed are dayum happy to have a job. But even having a job we’re still wondering how much longer we’ll be able to make ends meet if the cost of fuel and food continues to rise.

It’s no surprise to see stories on how to “recession proof” your budget, how to save at the gas pump, how to make you dollar stretch further….(hell if I stretch that bastard any further George Washington will look like a cracked out Amy Winehouse.) In that vein, here’s my contribution to the “how to’s“.

If you’re wondering how to avoid the axe when it comes time for your company to downsize, I have the answer for you right here. Forget what you heard about making yourself indispensable, being a team-player, showing up on-time and meeting deliverables, showing the boss how to save money, accepting new responsibilities and asking for more work. That right there is BOOLSHYT! Yep…boolshyt!

The one and only thing you need to know in order to keep your job is to STAY YOUR A$$ AT HOME IF YOU ARE SICK!!! Don’t play the dayum hero…like the office couldn’t survive without your viral plague infested a$$! STAY HOME!!

Do not go in and infect the entire office because you have a deadline to meet. That is not the way to go. You know who you are…trying your best to impress your manager and co-workers with the illusion of being a good soldier. If I were the hiring manager, you would be the FIRST one fired! GONE! Pink would be in your future! Security will have your shyt in a box and escorting your little Cootie McCootie a$$ right out of the door post haste!

I spent my entire weekend in bed battling what could be the worst head cold ever. Not sure which one of the bloodclots with whom I work that I have to thank for this nasty little bug. But believe me, they could have kept it to themselves…I would have appreciated that a whole lot more.

In closing, again I ask that you stay your viral plague infested, cootie McCootie, deathbed experience, house needs fumigating, HAZMAT suit needin, sick a$$ home if you want to keep your job.

Teacher Loses His Cool

Travis Heckstall, a former Clayton County teacher, has been charged with making terroristic threats against a student and his family. The former science teacher was pushed to the edge of sanity and apparently jumped. In an effort to keep control of his class after he was threatened by students, Mr. Heckstall issued a few threats of his own. He allegedly cursed, spat, threw chairs, threatened to “rip a student’s eyeballs out” and to kill the student’s family.

Read the story HERE.

According to family and friends, specifically Mr Heckstall’s father Joe Heckstall (a Georgia state representative), this was not characteristic of his son. If we are to believe the elder Hesckstall, Travis Heckstall has been threatened before and brought his concerns of students’ behavior to the administration only to be told to “deal with it”. I am inclined to believe it.

We have all heard the trouble teachers have with unruly students and lack of support from administration. School systems are fearful of lawsuits so they tie the teachers’ hands leaving them with little to no recourse to reasonably discipline the demon seeds they’ve be charged to teach. And guess what? The little darling demon seeds “know” this and they dayum near have free reign to intimidate and antagonize instructors without any real consequences. The patients are running the asylum! I am surprised more teachers haven’t cracked and gone off the deep end.

This doesn’t excuse Mr. Heckstall’s behavior but I can certainly understand. Teachers have my utmost respect because this is NOT a job I could do. I would be facing a long stint in the state pen for beating one of those Devil’s spawn to the white meat. NO DOUBT!

X-Men Trifecta

What is up with the ex-lovers and ex-boyfriends calling? Two last week and one this week. My intention was not to give this more attention than it deserved but now I’m beginning to wonder…am I unconsciously emitting pheromones that are attracting past loves?

It started with a call from M2 ten days ago. Truthfully, I almost fell off my chair when the phone rang because I had not heard from him in over 7 months. After 6 years of going back & forth, being off & on, and not getting what I needed, I finally cut not only communication ties but heart ties as well. You could say I had an epiphany of sorts. The conversation was mostly catching up on what had been going on in each others lives and lasted about 15 minutes. I ended the conversation with an excuse of having to finish some things before heading out for the evening – it was important for me to remain in control of how and when the conversation ended. 😉

A few days later, MG calls. Although things ended between us over 7 years ago we occasionally keep in touch. Since he’s in another state this sporadic communication has never been an issue for me. This conversation started differently. After our “hello’s” and “how you doing’s”, MG’s first question is “Do you have a man?”. Next question, “Are you seeing anyone?”.

He proceeds to lay out his case by telling me he’s doing really well now and wants a “real woman” in his life.

Hmmm, really?

He continues with how he now has something more to bring to the table than just being a “good guy”.

Hmmm, really? More than your 3 kids, 3 baby mamas, and some good d**K?  

His business is doing well, his credit is good and he’s taking a gamble on several other ventures that have good odds of paying off.

Nah, bruh-man…I’ll pass. You know how it is…Once bitten, twice shy. So why is he blowing up my phone er’dayum-day? 😐

Rounding out this X-Men Trifecta is MP. He called and left a voice-mail just this morning. We’ve known each other since we were 14 years old and broke up over 16 years ago. This was the MOST dysfunctional relationship I have had in my life. I mentioned it in my Valentine’s Day post. Every woman I’m sure has one like this in her life. You know the one that tells you if you’re not married by a certain age, he’s going to be your husband? Maaaan, hell would have to freeze over a dozen times before that ever happened!!! There is a very good reason, in fact, many many reasons why you are an X!! Needless to say, I will not be returning the call!

I have moved on from all of these men and can say with all certainty that NOTHING, NADA, would ever happen again between me and either of them. :mumbles:  Well…with one exception……maybe. 😉 But he would have to dayum near walk on water before I let down that wall. And let’s face it, the last man to walk on water was Jesus. LOL!!

So why do men do this? Why can’t y’all get that shit right the first time? This isn’t golf!!! You can’t call a Mulligan dummy!!! There are NO DO OVERS, especially where my heart is involved.