“I’ll get eat you my pretty, and your little dog too!!”
This is comedian, Luenell. I have never heard of this woman before but all I know is she is scary looking!!
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Somebody has way too much time on their hands. This is a waste of brain cells if you ask me.
Couldn’t those brain cells be put to better use by finding the cure for cancer? A.I.D.S.? The high cost of gas? Or maybe how to better serve children in foster care? How to resurrect Hip Hop prior to 1995?
How to bring back Lauryn Hill?
How to rid the black community of Al Sharpton? Bobby Brown? Lil John? Flava Flav?
How to keep me pimp slapping the nosy folks at work?
How to keep Kobe and Kanye from whining like two lil beoyatches? What?
…I’m just saying….there are better uses!!!
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It’s no secret that I’m single. It’s also no secret that it is hard being a single female in Atlanta. Hard if you choose not to screw men for sport or money, have some measure of dignity, and can recognize game when you see it. With that being said it should come as no surprise that I have been experiencing a long dry season. For a while it even seemed as if I couldn’t even buy a date…nothing was poppin for the kid. NOTHING!!
In the past couple of days I’ve had brief conversations with two potential “dates” or suitors. I hate those initial “getting to know you” talks. HATE ‘EM! Both young men made the same comment that causes a natural gag reflex with me.
“So, tell me about yourself“. Uuuugggghhhh!!!
There has to be a better way to get to know each other without feeling like I’m on a job interview or auditioning for The Bachelor/Bachelorette!!! I don’t want to feel as if I’m giving you a run down of my qualifications.
[in my best game show contestant voice] ‘Well, my name is Chocl8t. I’m 41 years old. I enjoy hiking, kayaking, bowling, and white water rafting. I’m an Aquarius and I’m a people person’. Uuuugghhh!!!
Could it be these guys just haven’t mastered the art of conversation? Or could it be I’m just cynical, jaded and just expect too much? Is it too much to want an effortless conversation that flows like a cool stream? Is it too much to want to laugh and joke in the process?
What is your technique or M.O. in getting to know someone? Do you run down a list of questions or do you let the conversation flow and go where it goes?
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By now we have all heard the news that RKelly was acquitted on all charges of child pornography by a Chicago jury last week. Many think the prosecution’s case was weak while others are outraged that the R&B superstar has gotten away with exploiting yet another young girl. There are also those who think he should have never been brought up on charges to begin with and are very happy he’s dodged the bullet.The entire business surrounding this habitual pedophile has pissed me off and leaves me wondering what message does this send our young black females. Better yet, what has it done to help reinforce existing negative messages to our young girls and women about their self-worth?
I had a conversation with someone that left me very disturbed and wondering if, what I perceive as, their faulty logic is what keeps RKelly so popular within our community.
In short, I expressed my disappointment with the verdict only to be met with exhuberance and glee at the prospect of a new RKelly CD by the end of summer. When my response registered with the individual she proceeded to explain that while she doesn’t “condone” the behavior they can surely understand “how” and “why” such situations exist especially for an entertainer with fame and fortune.
During our conversation she told of how she was sexually active at 13 yrs old, how at the age of 15 was sleeping with a 21 year old man, recalling how she would get into clubs on fake IDs, telling men she was older than she really was, etc., etc. Because of these things she understands how the Kelly’s fame and fortune is a magnet for young girls. Basically, her reasoning is it really isn’t the man’s fault when young, fast, hot-in-the-pants, females make themselves available. “It is…what it is.”
Is this really how ‘it is’?
The first thing that popped into my head while she spoke was “who are the adults that failed you…failed to protect and guide you?”
I was a straight laced goody-two-shoes little girl, a book worm. As a matter of fact I was afraid of boys until I was 18 yrs old and didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19 almost 20. Having been molested at a young age kept me from the usual boy/girl shenanigans during my adolescent years. I remained “green” for a long, long time and for that I’m thankful. VERY THANKFUL!
My next thought was could our different experiences during adolescence have any bearing on our vastly differing views of these things? Does yours?
I can’t pretend to understand where she’s coming from, I can’t. It only reinforces that deep longing urge to protect young girls (and boys) all the more.
So, tell me what you think is at the root of this “it’s okay” mentality – the willingness for the black community to give predators like RKelly a pass.
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In these times of economic downturns, high fuel prices, and financial uncertainty those of us employed are dayum happy to have a job. But even having a job we’re still wondering how much longer we’ll be able to make ends meet if the cost of fuel and food continues to rise.
It’s no surprise to see stories on how to “recession proof” your budget, how to save at the gas pump, how to make you dollar stretch further….(hell if I stretch that bastard any further George Washington will look like a cracked out Amy Winehouse.) In that vein, here’s my contribution to the “how to’s“.
If you’re wondering how to avoid the axe when it comes time for your company to downsize, I have the answer for you right here. Forget what you heard about making yourself indispensable, being a team-player, showing up on-time and meeting deliverables, showing the boss how to save money, accepting new responsibilities and asking for more work. That right there is BOOLSHYT! Yep…boolshyt!
The one and only thing you need to know in order to keep your job is to STAY YOUR A$$ AT HOME IF YOU ARE SICK!!! Don’t play the dayum hero…like the office couldn’t survive without your viral plague infested a$$! STAY HOME!!
Do not go in and infect the entire office because you have a deadline to meet. That is not the way to go. You know who you are…trying your best to impress your manager and co-workers with the illusion of being a good soldier. If I were the hiring manager, you would be the FIRST one fired! GONE! Pink would be in your future! Security will have your shyt in a box and escorting your little Cootie McCootie a$$ right out of the door post haste!
I spent my entire weekend in bed battling what could be the worst head cold ever. Not sure which one of the bloodclots with whom I work that I have to thank for this nasty little bug. But believe me, they could have kept it to themselves…I would have appreciated that a whole lot more.
In closing, again I ask that you stay your viral plague infested, cootie McCootie, deathbed experience, house needs fumigating, HAZMAT suit needin, sick a$$ home if you want to keep your job.
I Am Chocl8t 
