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Where’s Karyn? Mostly Likely in Prison

karyn1162009In December 2007, three posts appeared on the Chocl8t Diaries about Karyn Hancock. First about her disappearance, then when she was found, and finally about what drove her to run and lie.

You can read the posts HERE and HERE.

On yesterday Mrs Hancock was sentenced to four years in prison from stealing more than $600,000 from clients.

The 36-year old stood silent and emotionless as the judge sentenced her to the next four years in prison.

“We sort of have a policy in the office. If an attorney steals from clients they go to prison. That was our attitude towards this. So we think it’s an appropriate sentence,” Chris Anderson-prosecutor.

Before sentencing victims shared their stories how McConnell-Hancock forged checks, submitted false claims, and then used their money to pay back other clients. [SOURCE]

She will be eligible for parole in 180 days. Six months? WOW.

I think she is getting off easy if you ask me. She probably will not serve the entire sentence – probably less than 2 years. How is that justice for the victims?

What do you think? Is that a “light” sentence”?

B**ch Betta Have My Money!!

paycheckIt has long been said that you don’t mess with a person’s money, children, or food. In these volatile and uncertain economic times, there is no truer statement, believe me!

Today is the 15th and like millions of other Americans whose payday falls on the 15th and the last day of the month, I was expecting to see my money in my account this morning when I logged in. Well, to my surprise the funds were not there.

At first this didn’t cause any alarm but rather I stood there staring at my laptop thinking “Wait. Today is the 15th right?”.  I confirmed that it was by checking the date on my Blackberry.

Aiiiight. I’m still not “upset” because it is 5am and the memo credits may not have reflected yet on the accounts. This sometimes happens and funds do not show up until around 8am or so. (I know this from having worked in banking for a long time) I will wait until I get to work and check my account again.

During the drive in several other scenarios played out in my head as to why my direct deposit hadn’t hit. I began to go into troubleshooting mode once I arrived to the office and asked a co-worker if he had DD and if it posted to his account. His response was yes he did and no, it had not. Next question was who did he bank with, to make sure it wasn’t a banking institution issue. Different bank.

Ok. WTH is going on here?

I immediately head to HR with my concerns where a perky little blonde girl proceeds tells me, “We’re aware of the issue and are working to resolve the issue“. “When do you expect it to be resolved“, I ask. She then gives me this nonsense that she doesn’t know anything and the HR Director will send an email shortly.

In a nutshell, our payroll processing company, ADP, screwed up and are working to get employees paycheck deposited before midnight tonight. This prompted my next question regarding NSF fees for those automatic drafts set up with a couple of creditors. I’m assured by HR, ADP will cover all fees incurred as a result of their “f**k up”.

However, this does very little putting me at ease with the situation but I haven’t gone ballistic, just yet. Well, not until I receive this message from the payroll manager (pay close attention to the bold underlined text):

From:
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 10:03 AM
To:
Cc:
Subject: RE: Direct Deposit- First Payroll of the year

Chocl8t,

We are working with ADP to get the funds into accounts as quickly as possible. If possible, you may want to consider contacting your bank or creditors to try and put those direct drafts off for a day to ensure your funds are there. If this is not possible, please submit any NSF fees incurred to me at your earliest convenience and I will work with ADP to get them covered. 

fistofmoneyUhmmmm, nah beoyatch…I DON’T THINK SO!!  Being the person I am and having to let a heffa know when she’s being absolutely freakin ridiculous with her suggestions, I had to respond. HAD. TO!! But I had to wait a few minutes to compose myself or else the email would have simply read “BITCH, PLEASE!”.

From: Chocl8t
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 10:21 AM
To: xxx
Subject: RE: Direct Deposit- First Payroll of the year

xxx,

I appreciate your attempt at trying to help with suggestions but that would add a bigger burden and, not to mention, more inconvenience to an already stressful situation. I would have to spend several hours on the phone with my bank and/or creditors to avoid a huge error to which I bare no fault.

Let’s hope XXX and ADP can resolve this issue promptly without further inconvenience.

I plan to make headlines if my money doesn’t show up soon, so don’t be surprised if you hear on the news about a little short black woman in Georgia going ape-shit crazy on a stupid wench.

AMGs lyrics keep ringin in my head………..”B**ch betta have my money”

Maxine’s Ass Rott

I debated whether or not I should write about this woman because, well…she’s old. But to hell with her because she ruined my dayum day while at the same time burning out  my nose hairs. By the time I’m through with this post though, it will be to hell with ME  in my gasoline soaked Victoria’s Secret thongs.

Sunday afternoon in the gym went from funny to foul and FONKY in a matter of 3o minutes.

maxine1

It’s called flatulence or ASS ROTT!

I arrive at my local gym and head to the upper level to begin my 60 minute workout on the stairmaster. Yep. It was cardio day!! The gym was relatively empty for a Sunday afternoon and there are several machines from which to choose. I select one. To my left is a vacant stairmaster then a young lady. To my right, another empty machine and then a little old lady who looked like Maxine, and that is what I will call her henceforth.

When I mount the stairmaster, I can’t help but chuckle aloud because Maxine is humming or singing loudly to the music playing in her ear via headphones. Seriously though, I’m being generous when I say singing because it sounded more like a cat in heat. Or as if she had fallen down a flight a stairs and was moaning in pain…and nothing audible like “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up“. Nope. Painful, awful moans.

Maxine continues to “sing” and I continue to giggle because I can still hear her over my music pumping through my headphones. She managed to break through and over the Chingy, T.I., and Ludacris in my ears. Maxine was so loud that the young lady to my left heard her also and she giggled just as I did. However, she had managed to leave before Maxine “blessed” me with her next *ahem* “act”.

Gas Face

Gas Face

Twenty eight minutes into my workout I get a whif of what can only be described as…as….”Ass Rot“. I grab my towel to place over my nose and look around with that “W.T.F is that” expression. Was that? Is that? Maxine? OMIGAAAWWWDDD!!! Did she just poop her pink sweat pants? Surely I’m going to see a brown stain slowly make it’s appearance around her butt!! SURELY!

The stain didn’t appear but the poop could not be too far behind. Maybe it (the poop)  stepped to the side in the anal canal to let the air make it’s way by. Like the air said “Excuse me, but I’m next out the hole. Pardon me.”

Sweet Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!! This is the most awful smell I have ever encountered. EVERRRRRRR!! To make it worst….it lingered and lingered…..like…like, forever!!!

I couldn’t get off that dayum machine fast enough and grab my belongings!!! I ran over to the area where the treadmills were and finished my workout with a 15 minute run/walk all the time giving good ol’ Maxine a mean side-eye.

Now there have been a time or two where I’ve cut the cheese and had to give myself the gas face all the while asking “da hell did you eat girl?” But never, ever has it been in a public place. NEVERRRRR!!

Flats…come getchyo momma!!! She stanking up LA Fitness!!!!!! (inside joke, sorry)

Random Ramblings

I am not for the bullshit in 2009.

New year. New attitude. Take notice.

A co-worker didn’t get that memo. She attempted to pull me into a conversation in which she was criticizing the dress our manager wore to the Christmas party. It went something like this:

M: Chocl8t, come here (I go to her desk, she’s looking at pics from the xmas party)
M: As fly and sharp as “A” dresses, this is what she wore?
Chocl8t – (smacks M on the arm) I’m not doing this shit with you in 2009! It was a simple black dress, leave it alone!
M: I just asked a question…(laughs)

Honey, get a clue and while you’re at it, a life too. Your need to constantly talk about this woman and what she does, drives, and wears is screaming J-E-A-L-O-U-S. Stop focusing on her and get your life together because it’s clear to everyone that you are unhappy with YOU. Good luck with that, by the way.

No Pain. No Gain.

My goal is to reach12-15% body fat so I’ve dragged my butt back to the gym after a 5 month absence. As usual, and as expected, my body’s reaction is like “Da hell are you doing to me!!” Every time I go back after a long absence, I promise myself not to do it again because quite frankly – it hurts. The process of increasing my muscle strength and endurance after a long down time is NOT fun. I have no one to blame but myself. Wish me luck. No, scratch that…PRAY for me. 😛

Lead. Follow. Or move out of my way.

We’ve talked. We’ve joked. We’ve laughed. We’ve drank. Flirted shamelessly. The attraction is obvious. Also obvious is that I am interested. Don’t get it twisted though. All I can see for the moment is me having fun enjoying the ride. Don’t just talk about it…be about it. 😛

The guilt trip.

Most mothers have perfected this little tool in their arsenal. Mine is no different. She doesn’t even realize she’s doing it, or at least she pleads innocent when I call her on it. Loves you mommy but it stops right now. Oh, continue to do you but I will sit it out on the sidelines. Mmmkay. ::giggles::