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My inquisitive nature and my need to seek out the truth have me on a journey. That journey has led me to part ways with organized religion, the Church, and to a large degree – Christianity.

Writing that last sentence was as hard as it was frightening.

Before now, I have shared my beliefs with only two people, both of whom have been extremely supportive. One is a “faithful Christian”, who withholds any judgment, and the other was not raised in church and thereby was never “indoctrinated” (his word) with Christian teachings. It is through the many conversations with both individuals that have helped me sort though the thoughts in my head and realize that I am not crazy nor am I alone.

I am reminded of the Dr. Benjamin Mays quote,

“I’ll rather go to hell by choice then heaven by following the crowd.”

A former classmate stated on Facebook, “It’s difficult being an Independent thinker and existing in a world committed to the herd.”

I agree wholeheartedly and I forge ahead.  Take a walk with me…

Watching TV one Sunday morning, I caught a Bishop delivering a sermon. Something he said resonated with me. He was stating his case against individuals who choose not to worship God in a “church”. In essence, claiming that if you are a part of the vine (the body of Christ), you must remain connected with the source (God, i.e., the church) in order not to wither and die.

He went on to say that what makes the church “holy” is the alter and if your home does not have one it is “insufficient”.

Well, I beg to differ. The church is a building and the “act” of attending Sunday service is a “religious practice” and has very little to do with an individual’s spirituality or their relationship with God.

This was not the first time I found myself at odds with what I have heard preached and taught from the pulpit. Not long ago, this same Bishop delivered a sermon centered on adultery. In this sermon he gave his definition of adultery to be any sexual intercourse between people who are not married to each other. A big departure from Webster’s definition:

Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband; also: an act of adultery

So according to this Bishop, if I have sex with a single man we are committing adultery. Who knew…all of these years I’ve been an adulterous Jezebel – not a fornicator.

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Some of you may be wondering where I’ve been and why I have not been posting. Well, it’s quite simple really….I have nothing to say.

Oh, I have a lot on my mind and as always have my opinions on what has been going on in the world as well as my observations, revelations, conversations,  and contemplations on my little life here in the ATL.

But alas…still…nothing to say.

Until that changes…I will be silent.

Chocl8t 😉

As I pulled into the driveway, my heart raced with excitement seeing what was sitting on my front porch. Finally arrived and waiting for meeeee!! It’s on tonight!!

I hurry to prepare dinner, clean the kitchen, and shower so I can provide my undivided attention to my “guest“. I have replayed this scenario out in my mind for a while now and my expectations have me on a natural high. I am actually giddy. GIDDY!

Fresh out of the shower I saunter into the bedroom and slide into bed. The lights are dimmed low and the music has set the mood. Knowing I am going to sleep really well tonight, I let out a deep sigh.

Hummmmmmmm….Hummmmmmmmm…. Buzz..Buzzz…..Hummmmmm……..Hummmmm.

I shift around to find a better position.

Hummmmmmmm….Hummmmmmmmm….Buzz..Buzzz …..Hummmmmm……..Hummmmm.

I shift again.

Hummmmmmmm….Hummmmmmmmm….Buzz..Buzzz…..Hummmmmm……..Hummmmm.

This goes on for about 10 minutes until I can no longer take it.

That’s it!?!! Seriously?

This is what I waited for? Was I doing something wrong? Was it positioned incorrectly?

I wait until I’m 43 years old before I get with BoB and he didn’t deliver? Disappointed is an understatement. For all the ladies who swear by BoB…all I’ve got to say is…I just don’t get it. I don’t! Nor did I get my promised happy ending!!! BoB is a bitchass if you ask me.

It did nothing for me except leave me frustrated and wondering if I could return it and get a refund. Yeah, that’s nasty but I was pissed off – all dressed up and nowhere to go. Stick a fork in my ass cause I. AM. DONE!!

This experience has left me agreeing with someone, who shall remain nameless, that any encounter with BoB is…unnatural. Give me an old-fashioned Tyrone, Michael, Matthew, or David any day cause I will not be f**king with BoB again no time soon.

Ol bitchass….

A few thoughts running through my mind. One thought didn’t produce enough for its own post so they have to share this space in my Random Ramblings.

~ Funny how you can know someone your entire life and not really know them at all. Is it that I am still learning things about myself or have I just began to recognize and accept myself as is – faults, warts, and all? Probably more so of the latter.

~ The expiration date is quickly approaching for my online dating adventure. I am done! After only 45 days, I have realized that I prefer the old-fashioned dating method. Given my recent history and track record with that – I might not be dating much. No worries though…I think Xandria is having a great sale. 😉

~ The Bald Va-Jay-Jay. What’s behind some men’s fascination with and desire for a hairless pum-pum? Close shaven or Brazilian maybe, but BALD?  Are men who like that clean-shaven look suspect as a close male friend has suggested? Doesn’t it remind you a of pre pubescent child – no hair? Not to mention it itches like hell during the “grow out” phase. Have a girl scratching like she’s got fleas. NOT. A. GOOD. LOOK! Trust me….I know 😐

~ My 1.5 hour commute (one-way) gives me a lot of time to think. Think about what to prepare for dinner…what to wear to work the next day. Should I purchase that $350 bicycle? When will my house sell? How much time spent on each thought really depends on how bad traffic is that day. Today Raheem Devaughns’ “Bedroom” triggered the following…”funny…I don’t remember the last time a man made me sweat where it rolled  between my breasts down to my stomach and landed in the creases of my belly button. Hmph…I really need to buy that toy from Xandria...”

~People who sit in a restaurant alone and talk on their mobile phones really annoy me. The same goes for those who yap away on the phone while in the checkout line at the grocery while the cashier rings their items. I think it is rude. the former indicates to me that the solo diner is not comfortable being alone. A lady sat down a few chairs away from me at the sushi bar today during lunch. She was chatting it up on her phone and the chef had to repeat himself several times because she was so engrossed in her conversation. RUDE! RUDE! RUDE!

Any thoughts on my thoughts or thoughts of your own you’d like to share?