Chocl8t Ramblings

Belief and Fear

I accepted Christ at the age of 13 under duress and the looming threats from my mother. No one was going to live under her roof and not believe in Christ and not be a member of a church.

It was laid out to me like this by my mother, “either walk up to the alter and join church or I will take you by the hand and walk you up there myself“. The easiest way to motivate a teenager is to threaten to embarrass them in front of their peers. Given the options presented to me and the fact we attended a neighborhood church with children whom I went to school, I went to the alter on my own accord and professed to believe Christ as my savior.

For years I attended church, eventually joining the choir as an adult all while having serious questions about Christianity. The more I sought answers, the more questions came. When I began to approach my religion from a logical perspective very little made sense to me nor could I reconcile what I felt tin my heart with what I was taught. (I wrote about this before – HERE)

  • The Bible is the word of God. – According to whom? Men from 2,000 years ago whose intent was to control the masses? Men, who by all accounts, had their own agendas? This word of God has been revised, re-written and interpreted again and again. You can take one verse from the Bible and ask ten people what it means and you will get just as many answers. so it is the word of God to be interpreted by man depending on his/her views.
  • The only and only way to see God, and thus “heaven”, is through Jesus Christ. Even if you live a life in service to others, don’t lie, cheat, steal or commit any of the sins as outlined in the Bible, you will go to Hell (if these places even exists). If you’re Jewish, you’re going to hell. Muslim? Hell. Hindu? Hell. Buddhist? Hell. If you have no religious beliefs? Hell.
  • Creationism vs. Evolution. I do not believe the earth was created in 6 days. There is far too much scientific evidence to the contrary. I believe the prophets attempted to explain Earth’s creation the best way they knew how given their limited knowledge at the time.

Some may wonder if I believe in a deity at all. I really don’t know if God exists or not and I refuse to debate that with anyone, specifically Christians. Hell, just writing and posting this is enough to make some believers’ heads explode and break out the oil and holy water to begin praying over me while speaking in tongues.

It has taken years for me to find the courage to take a step back, and away, from Christianity and I am still breaking free from the shackles of its indoctrination. I know there are more people out there like me. Many of whom are still holding on to those beliefs out of fear and under duress and the threat of an eternal life in hell.

Beliefs and fear are real. If strong enough, both can make the most illogical and  irrational…real.

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. ~Buddha

 

Ten Random Facts About Moi

I have foolishly decided to take the 30 Day Blog Challenge. So here goes it….

I have a penny-sized circular scar on the bottom of my right foot and I don’t think any man with whom I’ve ever been intimate has ever noticed. But why would they, right? 🙂

I have a fleshy mole on my belly button.

I don’t have a college degree and that bothers me.

I think the Feminist movement may have done more harm than good for women – Black women in particular.

I don’t believe God exists in the form or manner in which I was raised and taught to believe.

I love the fact that I have re-discovered my inner “lone wolf”.

I lost my virginity at 19 years old but didn’t experience my first orgasm until age 31.

I prefer working with men. Less drama.

I’m afraid of heights but I’m planning on sky diving this summer.

I tried out for the Atlanta Hawks dance squad when I was 28 years old to get past my shyness.

 

Why Thailand? Why Not…?

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Paradise

Edema. My feet were looking like loafs of bread and my toes like sausage links. That’s what 23 hours on three different planes got me. But, those 23 hours also got me to one of the most beautiful locations in the world, Phuket, Thailand.

If you ever consider traveling to Asia, fly Korean Air. I think they invented customer service!! Even in economy class the service is excellent. They offer hot food service with real silverware…none of that plastic dinnerware found on US carriers. Parents traveling with infants are offered bassinets which snap onto the wall of the cabin, usually in the exit row. Their attention to detail is impeccable.

We were originally scheduled to catch a connecting flight in Seoul, Korea to Phuket but due to the solar flare storms, we were diverted to Bangkok from Seoul for an overnight stay in a hotel in the Suvarnabhumi Airport. The hotel’s accommodations were in true Asian minimalist style – small bathroom with only a shower and two twin beds for a double occupancy. Nothing luxurious about it but after 23 hours on a 2 planes, I had no complaints, plus the airline comped the room.

The next morning we flew Bangkok Air to Phuket which only took an hour, thankfully.
The JW Marriott Beach Club is EXCELLENT!! I can’t adequately describe the hotel because I’m typing this post using my Xoom tablet with a wireless keyboard. If you’re familiar you know the keyboard is small. Ugh!
So you might be asking, “Why Thailand?”, like a few others have. My response – “Why not?” It’s bad form to answer a question with a question, but in this case, I must.
You are given one life and it is your charge to live it to the fullest. Dare to think outside the box and open yourself to new possibilities. Seek out cultures and people that are different and unfamiliar to what you’re accustomed. Remove the shackles!!!!
When you do that, you will never as me “Why Thailand?” but instead ask yourself, “Why not Thailand?”

To Thine Own Breasts, Be True

The Mammogram

My yearly visits to the torture device, also known as the mammogram, started in 1998 when my right breast began to leak fluid due to a ruptured mammary duct.

That diagnosis cam by way of a general surgeon after visiting a “breast specialist” who, after administering a breast ultrasound told me “Oh, that’s normal.” Good thing I sought out a second opinion.

Never accept a doctor’s word at face value when you know in your heart of hearts that what he/she is saying does not ring true. Do not be afraid to seek out a second, or third, opinion. Be your own advocate!!

During a self breast exam in 2003, I discovered a lump. A mammogram, ultra sound, biopsy, and eventual lump removal revealed there was no cancer. All was good and the torture device visits continued.

Sitting in a meeting at work about 12 days ago (a Tuesday) my upper right arm grazed my breast when I reached for something on the conference room table. I winced from the pain and tenderness and my first thought was “What was that?”

Immediately after the meeting I called to schedule an appointment for a mammogram. (The yearly visit was last August.)

Thursday morning found me at the Cobb Women’s Imaging Center for a mammogram and a breast ultrasound.

There are no words to accurately describe the anxiety. I barely ate and had a headache that laughed at the Tylenol I ingested. Despite trying to remain positive the internal dialogue could not be quieted.

What if it is cancer? How will we decide to treat it? Is it early enough that I won’t lose my breast? Chemotherapy? I’ll lose my hair!! Just when I decided to let it grow out again. I rocked a natural look surely I could rock the bald look too. If it is cancer, they’ll just have to remove the lump ASAP and I will start chemo after I return from Thailand in March.

Then there was the Monday afternoon appointment with the surgeon.

Tuesday -Hit auto-replay and shuffle on internal dialogue.

Wednesday morning – an ultrasound guided needle biopsy.

Thursday – Hit auto-replay and shuffle on internal dialogue.

The call came from the doctor’s office on Friday. It is not cancer.

OH HAPPY DAY!

I am forever grateful to the universe and will continue my monthly breast exams and my annual mammogram. If you’re a woman over 40, you should do the same.

If you’re a woman under 40, or a man (YES. MEN, you can get breast cancer too!), self breast exams are a must. Learn to do them correctly!

Visit the following links for more information on mammograms and self breast exams for men and women!

Here’s to happy healthy breasts!!!

Women click here. Men click here.

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 14,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.