Chocl8t Ramblings

Hey!!! I remember you little chocolate girl with the long fingers, spindly legs and knobby knees. It seems like your appendages were outgrowing the rest of you by leaps and bounds!

You begged your mother for piano lessons although she tried, unsuccessfully, to get you to take dance lessons. You were too shy for that though. A shy bookworm who didn’t need to be entertained and loved being alone.

So naive. You thought the neighborhood boy, Bryon W., asked you to be his girlfriend when what he really asked for was some “booty“. Remember how insulted you felt? You went home and told your mom with that “how dare he” indignation in your voice. You were only 8 years old and he was too mannish for his own good!

You were a perfect mix of girly girl and tomboy. Sunday mornings would find you decked out in your frilly dress, ankle socks with the lace trimming, and patent leather Mary Janes headed to church with “Mudda”. But later that day you were playing touch football in the middle of the street with Edwin, Edward, Kevin, and Emmanuel.

You could run, throw, and catch the ball with the best of them…up until that very last pass. It came spiraling through the air and positioning yourself perfectly, you caught the ball…your newly developing boobies absorbing the impact. O.U.C.H!!!! Dropping the ball, you declared, “I QUIT!” and ran home leaving the boys standing there in the middle of the street dumbfounded. However, there were still lizards to dissect, tadpoles to catch, and trying, unsuccessfully, to coach a turtle out of it’s shell. Little league softball at the neighborhood park was short lived though…you couldn’t bat the ball worth a dime!

To call you a Daddy’s girl was an understatement. You would take off running for home after hearing his signature whistle signaling it was time to come inside from playing, as if the street lights weren’t warning enough.

Let me tell you a few things sugah…don’t ever lose your passion for reading and when you discover writing – keep doing that too. That attraction you have for the odd ball eccentric loner kids in class…keep that too because you will find that they are the most interesting people. Oh yeah, and that affinity you have to empathize and relate to those emotionally fragile souls…you’ll keep that too.

Eventually you will grow to hate your holiday birthday but enjoy it now with your friends eating cake and ice cream because soon they will prefer the company of boys/men on Valentine’s Day. But don worry, you will experience some awesome friendships along the way with some equally awesome girls/women.

That feeling of “not quite belonging” and that persistent pull that “there’s something else out there” will prompt you to move out of state, traveling to different destinations culminating with a burning desire to live abroad.

And guess what? You will do that too!!

We will do it! I’ll take you with me.

You’re always with me…that little chocl8t girl with the long fingers, spindly legs and knobby knees.

Gabrielle Douglas – Gold Medalist, Olympian

We cheered for Gabby Douglas when she helped the US Women’s gymnastics team win the gold and when she became the first African American female to win the gold in the Women’s Individual All-Around.

We managed to say “aaaww” when her father, Staff Sergeant Timothy Douglas and currently deployed in Afghanistan, surprised her at the Olympic Finals after not seeing each other for two years. We shed a tear listening to her story of huge sacrifice resulting in a huge pay-off.

We marveled at her mother’s selflessness allowing her baby girl to mover 3,000+ miles away to train for the Olympics and live with a family that welcomed her in their home lovingly.

We then went out and proudly bought our box of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes with Gabby on the cover.

Gabby’s story highlights all that is good in this world – Sacrifice, hard work, selflessness, love and family. She is now America’s darling and will be enjoying the fruits of her hard labor and rightfully so.

However, there’s a dark side to this sudden thrust into fame and being the center of mainstream media’s attention. The same media that highlights Gabby’s accomplishments in London are simultaneously digging into her family’s personal and private affairs.

Just the other day, Entertainment Tonight ran story on her mom, Natalie Hawkins’ bankruptcy and receiving disability making sure to mention the parents’ pending divorce. Today, the NY Post ran a story calling Sgt Douglas a deadbeat dad citing (alleged) quotes from Gabby Douglas.

Sadly enough, I think this is just the beginning of these stories and it isn’t just Gabby feeling the sting. Several major news outlets ran a story on Ryan Lochte’s mother’s home being in foreclosure.

Neither Gabby’s nor Ryan’s families deserve this type of scrutiny nor to be picked apart…to have their private personal affairs aired out by the media. It’s unfair to all parties involved.

This is a testament to how low mainstream media has sunk. Stack ’em up to knock ’em down.

My hope is that both families manage to navigate through the darkness the bright lights of fame brings and come out on the other side, hopefully unscathed.

Sex education and advocating “safe sex” is giving teens permission to have sex.

Allowing pre-teen/early teenage girls to get a bikini wax “could be over-sexualizing” them.

Both of these “theories” are totally absurd to me. TOTALLY.

Earlier in the week, ABCs Good Morning America aired a segment titled “Waxing for Girls Younger Than 15?”. A local ad for Unik Wax Salon promoting a special for teens 15 and younger spurred fierce debate. As reported in the original piece, women on “mommy” sites were in an uproar voicing both approval and disgust.

“To encourage it at such a young age is completely inappropriate and disgusting,” a New York City woman said after seeing the ad” [Source]

Inappropriate? Disgusting?

The onset of puberty in the average girl begins roughly around the age of 9-10 and pubic hair is a part of that process, like it or not. [Source] It’s my theory that the hormones and antibiotics present in the meats we consume these days accelerates the start of puberty. [Source]

When I entered puberty I remember my mother having a series of conversations with me about my ever-so-quickly changing body. One of those conversations centered around hair growth (underarms and pubic area) an the importance of personal hygiene.

Aside from being unsightly while growing beyond the panty line like Kudzu or looking like you have two afro puffs in your arm pits, hair holds odor. As a teen I shaved my underarms and bikini line. In no way did this ritual in hygiene and personal maintenance “sexualize” me.

Because I was, and still am, a hairy girl, my mother made it a point to school me on the art of hair removal. Shaving was the only affordable option available to a single mother on a budget. But man…I wish waxing had been a viable option. Hell, I don’t think my mom even knew what waxing was at that time. It would have saved me from the painful bumps of ingrown hairs and the dark coloration under my arms.

The questions I want to ask those who oppose teens waxing…is it the method with which they take issue?

If so, would they be more comfortable with any other depilatory method?

How does waxing “over-sexualize”, or even sexualize, a young girl?

Is a razor or depilatory cream less disgusting and more appropriate?

Seriously, I need someone to explain that logic to me.

Back in March, after considering all my options, I made a decision. A decision not based on emotions but rather on logic and good business sense.

Today, I am scared. Ironic, isn’t it?

From all outward appearances things seem to be in complete disarray and are not going according to plan.

A deadline is quickly approaching and certain things are not in place nor finalized. Key players seem to be avoiding me or are slow to respond. A promising employment opportunity seems to have evaporated right before my eyes for reasons I have yet to comprehend nor am I aware.

My rational mind tells me to chill and reassures me that things will work out. However,…that emotional, irrational mind feels as if I’ve lost control of the situation. It has caused me to question and second guess myself when just only a few days ago I was so confident and sure of what I was doing.

A good friend recently told me to think of fear as the 10-foot Indian. A 10-foot Indian doesn’t exist so there is really nothing to fear.

Someone should tell her he’s standing at my front door.

distortionIt was the stuff Novellas are made of and I was smack dab in middle. The experience left me feeling empty, guilty, and I didn’t feel I could trust myself because I betrayed the trust of someone who considered me a friend. Had I utilized my usual modus operandi of a long observation, a “feeling out” period, I never would have allowed her within my inner circle of friends but before I knew it, we were fast “friends”.

We spent a lot of time bonding over martinis at the hottest nightspots in the ATL and over shots at family cookouts, which were just about every other weekend during that time. We met at work when she and her live-in boyfriend relocated from another state.

Lisa and Michael seemed to be the perfect couple as he doted on her and from all outward appearances was still in love after seven years. He was tall, dark, and very handsome. And as cliché-ish as that sounds, it’s true. I developed a close friendship with both Michael and Lisa. After a minor out-patient surgery, he called to check on me as well as she did.

The first sign of trouble was Lisa’s attraction to another co-worker, whom I will call, Myron. She was taken in by his charm, I guess, and the fact that he made six figures…something to which she also aspired. Despite the fact that Myron was married with four children it didn’t seem to matter to Lisa because he regaled her with stories of a loveless marriage to a woman with mental issues. She believed him. We all did.

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