Chocl8t Ramblings

What’s Up With Chocl8t?

These times when I am not posting are rarely ever planned. It happens when I am not willing to pen the thoughts in my head nor what is going on with me. For the past couple of weeks I retreated into the tortoise-shell. As you can see, I am poking my head out.

Now..to what I have been up to…

* I am back in the gym…it’s killing me softly but I am hanging in there.

* Finished up my volunteer project with Omasaze’s Reading Saturday. This had to have been one of the most gratifying and rewarding thing I have done. Since October, I volunteered every Saturday morning helping a child with their reading and word recognition.

At the start of the program, each child is tested to determine how many words they can recognize. Victor, the first grader assigned to me, scored 31 out of 200 words. At the end he was tested again and scored 141 words!!!! Yes…I am stoked!!! GO VICTOR!!!!

* Spent a weekend visiting family in Chicago. Delta Airlines lost my luggage on the return flight. Gone are three pairs of my favorite jeans and several other items. I am SO. NOT. HAPPY about this. Not happy at all! GRRRRRR!!! 😦

* After some cajoling from a dear friend and with great trepidation, I have joined an online dating site. UGH! Firstly, I am not looking for a husband however, dating in Atlanta isn’t easy if you’re not into the club scene with the “youngins”.

Let’s say I get a good giggle just about every day, if not from the “onscreen” names,  from the photos. I saw a picture of one guy who looked like he was in a perpetual state of surprise. Then the other guy whose name is “darkjedilova” looking like a burnt match with these super spooky eyes (probably has a dismembered woman stashed in the freezer). LOL

I’ve exchanged emails with a few guys and had an IM chat with one guy who automatically placed me in the typical stereotype group. I could tell from his line of questioning that he has been listening to and watching the clips on Nightline about black women being too picky.

For example:

“Why are you single and why did you join XXX.COM.” (harmless enough) So when I answered that I’ve spent most of my adult life wanting to be married and have children but now I’m just enjoying life. He comes back with: “Sounds good, but do you think that maybe your expectations are too high? Have you ever been in a serious lasting relationship?” and “Do you base your relationships, on what happened or happens in your friends relationships?

My response, “too high expectations? Whatever gave you that idea?”

After that I was irked but continued with the chat. I haven’t heard from that guy since nor do I wish to ever again. It just really bugs me how people just make unfounded assumptions. But no worries…NEXT!!!!!

Had a dinner date with “bigmark“…a date he initiated. ::DEEP SIGH:: I tried soooo hard to engage this guy in conversation…I almost broke out in a sweat. A few words here. A sentence or two there. Painful does not begin to describe the experience.  LOL….NEXT!!!

There you have it. A few of the goings on in the life of Chocl8t. Hopefully, I will not be away for long next time. 😉

Bitch-n-Bash Festival

They are going to ride this until the wheels fall off. 😐 

Bitch Much?

Nightline is hosting an open forum on “Why Can’t A Successful Black Woman Find A Man” debate in Decatur, GA on April 9th @ 7pm. Panel guest will be Sherri Shepherd (The View), Jacque Reid, Hill Harper, and Jimi Izrael (johnny-come-lately-wanna-be-expert-psuedo-author looking to cash in)…and moderated by none other than the comedian turned relationship guru, Steve (3xs married) Harvey. 

I have already posted my opinions on this (HERE) but if  you are in the area and are in the mood for a Bitch-n-Bash session….go for it. Click HERE for the details. 

I suggested to a friend that we attend and be the audience hecklers yelling shit out like “PYSCHOLOGICAL WARFARE!!!!”….”WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!”…”IT’S LIES…..ALL LIES….DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!” While they escort us out of the facility…when we’d yell even louder….DON’T TASE ME BRO!!!! 😛 

Pyschological Warfare – Various techniques used, by any set of groups, and aimed to influence a target audience’s value systems, belief systems, emotions, motives,reasoning, or behavior. It is used to induce confessions or reinforce attitudes and behaviors favorable to the originator’s objectives… 

Bullshit, Propaganda, & Other Statistical Data

Awe f**k!! Here we go again with THIS boolshyt…

That was my initial reaction and comment when reading the OHN post “Are Black Women Too Picky“.

As a 43-year-old black woman, I should throw in the towel and call this life quits. Sometimes it feels like and all out assault on black women.

According to “statistics“, the reason I am not married, along with 40% of black women in America, is that the majority of black men are incarcerated, gay, or dating Kim Kardashian.

According to author, (I use the term loosely), Jimi Izrael’s TRASH book “The Denzel Principle“, black women are too picky. We should toss aside all standards and hook up with the likes of his twice divorced three baby mamma ass!! I heard that tidbit of information when he was on the Tom Joyner Morning Show several weeks ago.

Yeah…whatevah dude!

Even if I can lower my standards and find an available black man to marry at my age, my chances of having children has dramatically plummeted due to the ever decreasing number of eggs I’m producing…and those I do produce “ain’t ’bout shyt“.  A scientific term. *wink*

That’s right people – my eggs are hard-boiled! Be on the lookout for that autistic corky kid wearing the helmet licking the school bus window – he’ll be mine.

Yeah, according to “statistics”, slanted science, and bitter authors looking for a payday, I should just say “fuck it”. F.M.L.!!!!

That is…IF I believed everything I read or hear or if I were easily influenced by others’ opinions.

Think about the theory of self-fulfilling prophecy:

Positive or negative expectations about circumstances, events, or people that may affect a person’s behavior toward them in a manner that he or she (unknowingly) creates situations in which those expectations are fulfilled.

But I remain on a constant vigil not to internalize the negative crap I hear on a regular. My advice to other black women is to do the same. Tune it out! Stop and think about how and why these messages are being disseminated and definitely consider the sources.

Remember….

Cogito ergo sum………..I think, therefore I am. – Descartes

Black Babies – An Endangered Species?

Remember my post on Eugenics and Planned Parenthood titled “Pro Choice or Black Genocide? You Decide“? It seems we are revisiting this topic again due to some controversial billboards that have gone up around the city of Atlanta. 

As I mentioned in an email to Beth, who forwarded the video link, I remain Pro-Choice but the numbers are disturbing, to say the least. 

One lady in the video says “The figures are unfair“. Unfair? How so?

According to the statistics quoted in the video, black women are seeking out abortions at a much higher rate than white women. Almost double the rate! DOUBLE!! The numbers don’t lie lady!

And for those who scream it’s racist I say stick a sock in it…or put a condom on IT! The statistical data is not racist! 

I know it is difficult to face the truth. It is difficult to take a long hard look at yourself, at your community and ask…’what is really going on here?’ But it must be done. Maybe these billboard will be the catalyst for the necessary dialogue. 

Vodpod videos no longer available.
 

more about “Yahoo!“, posted with vodpod

 

Communication and Opening Up

Holding back has never been my forte’. With those whom I trust, respect, and love, I am an open book. I share, with exuberance, my life which often times include my private thoughts and emotions – my heart.

There is no mystery. What you see is indeed what you get. It is who I am. I see no need for pretense.

Not everyone I meet, or know, is the same nor can they appreciate this fact about me. I find it hard, tedious even, trying to balance it all out – what I should reveal and what I should keep hidden within. Should I put all the cards on the table or play my hand close to the chest. It is a fine delicate line that I want to smudge, erase, and do away with completely. But alas, it is often times necessary to keep interest piqued. It is a game I have found difficulty mastering.

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Painful is the only way to describe the conversation. Speaking to her on the matter and attempting to engage her in dialogue on a topic she initiated was nothing short of painful.

In recent months I have stepped away from “organized religion”(..uh..the “church“) for various reasons, none of which I will get into with this posting. This, much to the chagrin of my radical for Christ, neck deep in “the Word”, at church on Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday close friends.

I had been dreading this day but I knew it was coming. I had decided not to make some grand announcement about my choice but rather deal with it as it came up. Today was that day.

“I need you to be back in church next Sunday. This sabbatical of yours is over.” she says. “Actually, it isn’t”, I reply.

I assure her I still believe in God but I am not sure the form my “worshipping” will take on. I give her one reason for my departure and how this, and other issues, have gnawed at me for a very long time and I could no longer reconcile my actions and beliefs.

The response?

**crickets chirping**

Nothing. Vacant. Vapid. Flat.

After another attempt to get a response, I change the subject and she comes alive again.

Like I said before…painful.