What does a Voodoo Priestess do when someone passes her bad checks?
Does she:
Perform voodoo rituals to curse the check writer
Cuts off the heads of chickens and leave them on the check writer’s doorstep
Calls Judge Judy
Files charges against the check writer
If you chose “d“, you are right!
This NutBunny, Annette Kesting, a Cobb County Commissioner (Georgia), “allegedly” wrote $3,000 in bad checks to voodoo priestess, George Ann Mills (S.C.), in an attempt to curse her opponent Woody Thompson.
Kesting wrote $3,000 in bad checks, allegedly for the services of a “high priestess of voodoo” to prepare an untimely demise for commissioner candidate Woody Thompson. Kesting wanted the priestess, identified by authorities as George Ann Mills of Blythewood, S.C., to cause Thompson to “catch cancer” or “have a car accident” according to a police report obtained by WSB-TV. [SOURCE]
Kesting….YOU ARE A DUMB ASS!! Not to mention crazy as hell! Who in the HOT KRISPY HELL elected this deranged mentally unstable ass to office? Oh, I forgot!! The stupid phvckers that live in MY district!!
She paid the voodoo woman with a dayum check creating a paper trail!! DUH! Under-handed shit ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS requires cash you dipshit!!
Chiiiile, you are sooooo screwed!!!
The legal trouble for the bad checks are just the beginning. I would bet my hard earned money that the voodoo woman is NOT dumb. She’s a resourceful ruthless agent of the Dark Lords.
Aside from the legal woes surrounding your alleged bad checks, don’t be surprised if you wake up in the middle of the night and find yourself butterball ass nekkid, clucking like a chicken, doing the Macarana on the steps of the county courthouse in Marietta Square.
The squirrel met his untimely demise as a result of a chance encounter with my tires this morning. He didn’t stand a chance when he darted out in the middle of the road.You know how those little furry hyperactive creatures are…darting this way and that way…not quite sure if they should, making split second decisions. Had he followed his first mind and turned back, he could have walked away from the encounter alive. However, his indecisiveness got him squashed.
Yes. I killed a squirrel today. Am I upset? No, not in the least but I did become a little squeamish as I heard the small thud under the Corolla. Quite a different fate than those squirrels on the Geico commercial, wouldn’t you say? (See the video below)
That commercial should have come with a disclosure for squirrelly ass squirrels not to try this at home, stunt performed by professional stunt squirrels. HA!!!
This isn’t the first time a furry, or feathered, creature has met his demise under my tires.
The Goose.
I was returning to my apartment late one night and it was foggy. The apartment complex I lived in had a pond and geese would flock there during the spring and summer to swim, mate, eat, and sleep. It just so happened that on this particular night the geese were keeping late hours strolling alongside the pond, in the fog, in the dark.
*Badomp…domp-de-domp* “Dayum, what was that?” I thought as I was driving past the pond.
*Squaaaawwwwkk!! Squaaaaawwwwkkk!! Squaaaawwwwkk!!*
I look out my rear view mirror and there are about 5 geese chasing my car! Apparently I had hit one of their compadres.
The next morning was beautiful!! Clear blue skies, big puffy white clouds and the sun beaming down made for quite a picturesque scenario as I exited the complex driving past the pond. That was until I spotted the dead goose on the side of the road with his geese buddies standing not too far off.
They seemed to be in a daze. The shock of the sudden loss was still too fresh in their minds to comprehend.
::Shrugs::
Consider that early retribution for that dayum AFLAC duck. Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know ducks and geese are different but you get my point!
The Cat.
Anyone who knows me knows I DO NOT LIKE CATS!! Aside from being allergic to the stubborn independent fur balls…they just creep me out. But this, in no way, factored into what happened one morning on the way into work.
As I am driving on a two-lane road with the suicide lane in the middle (that’s the center turning lane), traffic was, as usual, heavy. Traveling in the direction in which I was headed, traffic was flowing about 40 mph when out of no where this Tom cat darts out into the road. I see him coming and I began screaming, “Nooooo!! Nooooo!!”
**CAThud… Badomp…domp-de-domp**
“OH GOD NOOOOOOO!!!” I shrieked. Looking in my rear view mirror I see the kitty squirming and flailing its appendages trying to make it to its paws.
The sight sent me into a guilt ridden prayer asking for God’s forgiveness for killing one of His creatures. God knew I didn’t like cats but I didn’t maliciously set out to harm the animal. I think I prayed and rocked & prayed and rocked the entire drive to the office.
While sitting at my desk my manager arrives and walks past me with a puzzled look. “Are you ok?” he asked.
I immediately burst into to tears and through my muffled sobs I told him what just happened. His reaction was hysterical laughter.
“You mean to tell me…the woman who doesn’t take shit off of no one, including ME, is bawling behind a gatdayum cat?” he manages to say between snorts. He continues, “You little cream puff you!”
More laughter and snorting ensue.
“Shake it off!! Lunch is on me today for giving me the best laugh I’ve had all week!!” he says as he enters his office.
Wiping the last tear from my eye, I respond, “Mark. I H8 U! This isn’t funny! I killed a cat!!! I feel awful!”
**Laugh-laugh…Snort**
“How’s Longhorn?” he retorts. “…or you could expense it? Either way, enjoy….MUDERER!!”
The guilt eventually faded away but not the disdain for cats.
::Shrugs::
What have I taken away from these experiences?
Let. Me. See…
Chocl8t = 3…..God’s furry creatures = 0?
Squirrels are stupid and indecisive, geese are loyal to their friends, and I still hate cats.
Pure comedy!! This presidential campaign and its Republican candidate, Sarah Palin, has provided more than enough material to the delight of many and the chagrin of McCain and Palin. 😀
Aiight….so….yeah…I got some things and someone(s) on my mind. I’m trying to **ahem** work some things out cause a woman got needs. I want to go out and shake my assets, have a few Apple martinis and get worked over. heh heh heh
Be sure to check out the last video with my man Chris Brown. Maaan if I ever get my hands on that young man…WHEW! He’d better pray Jesus is a restraining order…or a can of Red Bull!!
This NutBunny, Annette Kesting, a Cobb County Commissioner (Georgia), “allegedly” wrote $3,000 in bad checks to voodoo priestess, George Ann Mills (S.C.), in an attempt to curse her opponent Woody Thompson.
She paid the voodoo woman with a dayum check creating a paper trail!! DUH! Under-handed shit ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS requires cash you dipshit!!
I Am Chocl8t 