Chocl8t Ramblings

I Am Not My Mother

It is something I have to remind myself of quite often.

For as long as I can remember, I have been told how much I look like her and how much I act like her. Even I have said it, countless times, going so far as to say I am her “Mini-Me”.

When I was 15 years old, I remember telling my mother, in a fit of anger, that I never wanted to be like her. Fast forwardseveral years when, as a 19-year-old college student, I finally relented.

Chocl8t:     Mom. I give up!

Mom:         What’s wrong baby?

Chocl8t:     I give up! I’m tired of fighting it!

Mom:         What are you talking about? What’s wrong? (very concerned)

Chocl8t:     I am just like YOU! I look like you. Some things I say and I sound like YOU! I give up!

Mom:         (Hysterical laughter)

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What?

I made a promise to write a post at lease twice a week. So as I sit here on my bed, struggling to come up with an idea, I have the TV on mute…thinking.

Current events?

Lets see, there is the debt ceiling crisis going on in Washington, DC; Amy Winhouse’s apparent death from a drug overdose; Stauss-Kahn and the hotel maid; the local Georgia woman convicted of vehicular homicide in the death of her son, whom she did not kill.  But alas…nothing is moving me at the moment.

I could write about how this heat has turned me into a hermit this summer. I have not hung out nearly as much as I did last summer. But there’s not enough material there though.

I’m going to give it another day or so.

Lets see what hits me.

Okay, So Maybe O.J. Didn’t Do It. Now What?

The following video from TMZ (watch the video HERE) is a snippet of an encounter with the judge that sentenced OJ to 33 years for his utterly stupid actions in Las Vegas. (story HERE)  If you’re like me, you just chalked it up to Karma having come back. The judge thought so too and voiced as much in the video. Her bias could very well offer the opportunity for OJ to appeal his sentence based on the judge’s prejudices.

The very thought of that has those who believe he killed Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman a little up in arms. But what if OJ really didn’t do it? What if there was compelling evidence to give one pause or reasonable doubt?

I am not going to offer any editorial on the video below.  Please watch it for yourself when you have time. (It’s 1 hour, 20 mins) After watching it, come back and answer the poll question.

All I can say is WOW!

“Hater”ism and Homo”phobia”

Serena Williams

Last week I asked followers on Twitter to explain the current phenomena of being called and labeled a “hater” if you express an opposing opinion on a matter.

What prompted this perplexity was a comment I made on Facebook regarding Serena Williams’ yaki #4 weave. (See the comments HERE.) Then the passive aggressive, under-handed, sly comment of another person (Nichelle CNS) lauding all of Ms Williams’s accomplishments and stating anything said otherwise is “hate.”

ORLY? So we all have to agree and sing another’s praises or else, we’re “hating”. As a supporter and believer in the First Amendment, this is the most asinine mentality.

Pious prudes on Facebook is not the only segment of society guilty of this “mentality.”

The Gay & Lesbian community, by and large, does the same thing to those who dare disagree with anything related to them.

Homophobe is  what they call me! *in my Pretty Ricky voice ala “Martin”* (Video, 2:29 mark)

Yes! I’m calling y’all out too boo-boo!

Recently I read an article HERE, where the state of California has passed a law allowing the teaching of “Gay History” to elementary school students.

Wait a minute! Did I read that correctly? Gay History? Yes. There it is in black and white.

Sorry, I can not support this. My reasons are my own and will not be the focus of this post.

This is wrong on so many levels.

I support Gay marriage and non-discriminatory practices against anyone due to their sexual orientation. I believe most gays are born that way with nurturing picking up the slack. I have loved, supported, and lost a close gay male family member to HIV/AIDS. However, in spite of that, by definition, this would make me “Homophobic.”

Don’t agree with allowing little boys to wear pink nail/toe polish, dress in pink tutus and t-shirts with “princess” inscribed on it, or play with girl toys? HOMOPHOBE!

Don’t agree with the gay and lesbian lifestyle because of religious beliefs? HOMOPHOBE! (okay, so many of them really are.)

Don’t think it is necessary for gay men to be overly effeminate? HOMOPHOBE!

Don’t like Dwight Eubanks flaming ass? Both HOMOPHOBE and HATER! (two snaps and a cherry swirl!)

Look, the fact of the mater is I can disagree with you and not hate you or fear you. (Phobia =an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation.)

I’m not trying to hold you back, keep you down, not jealous, nor am I hiding some deep dark forbidden desire for a little G.O.G action. (shutupTDV!)

I just do not like that weave on Serena’s head nor do I think elementary students should be taught “Gay History”.

End of story.

Happy To Be Nappy?

Last week I had all the relaxer cut off and I am now rocking a short natural hair style. I made the decision about a couple of months ago to do this just for the summer. Although, everyone I have said that to tells me I will become so accustomed to the ease of it that I will not go back to the relaxer. However, I beg to differ – today.

Let me explain why.

I didn’t realize that I associated my femininity/attractiveness with my hair. I have worn both long and short styles and everything in between – all with permed/relaxed hair though.

I no longer feel feminine – I feel as if I have lost that feminine edge. Looking at myself in the mirror, I don’t see that fly fashion forward funky woman.

Now I see, and know, women, beautiful women, with short natural hairstyles who are uber feminine but that is not how I am seeing myself at the moment.

Chocl8t's Mom

When speaking to a close male friend about this, he asked “what can you do to feel more feminine?”. To which I replied, not much more than wearing lip gloss everyday and large hoop earrings. He assured me that my femininity does not reside in my hair but rather in my demeanor, how I carry myself, and my attitude – that fact that I have boobs and bootay doesn’t hurt either. Yeah, he’s a funny guy. 🙂

I mentioned the same thing to a girlfriend who had a slightly different view. She thinks it’s because of the social/cultural conditioning to which many black women have fallen prey – our natural hair isn’t beautiful or good enough. Subsequently we spend most, if not all, of our lives and a large sum of money in the pursuit of that European standard of beauty.

I have had my hair chemically treated since I was fourteen years old and had forgotten what my “natural” hair texture was like. Fortunately, I am getting re-aquainted with my waves and curl pattern. But I have to be honest, I do not see “me”. Or maybe I do see me, naturally, but I am not quite comfortable with her – yet.

Have I been brainwashed to think my beauty/femininity lies in my chemically straightened hair whether long or short? Maybe.

Will I keep it this way? Not sure.

Do I regret the decision to cut my hair? No, because it has forced me to peel back yet another layer an examine myself again.

I know I will, along with my hair, grow from this experience.